Is it fair for me to call my Ex a rapist?

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So, we meet online when I was 17 (still in high school) and he was 28. I never lied to him about my age and I would talk to him about what was going on at school and with my family and stuff at the time (which is just sick to me). I mostly just wanted someone I could talk to and feel close too. He felt the same way but, he would often pressure me into doing sexual stuff on camera for him. It's not like I was asexual or completely inexperienced or anything, there was plenty of stuff that I didn't mind but I hated doing stuff on camera. It always me me feel really weird and uncomfortable and I only ever did it after being begged and coerced for a long period of time. So, that was weird.

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After I graduate high school I ended up homeless for a few months and I kinda went off the grid. When I was doing better in life I kind of resented everybody who didn't help me when I was down so we didn't talk for maybe a year. We met in real life for the first time when I was 19 and things were a mess. I went to visit my sister in another state and he happened to live near her. I decided to hit him up because the last time that I was in the same state as him and I didn't say anything about it he felt disappointed and hurt.

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We had sex within the first day of meeting and I never could tell rather or not it was rape. He was mostly sober and I was every drunk, I let him take me to a motel because we were both far from home and we didn't really have anyplace nearby to sleep. I can't remember everything but I remember being uncomfortable and sad and feeling used. I told him the next day and he apologized but I don't think he ever understood. A similar situation happened a few days later except we were both drunk, he told me that he loved me and I started crying and he proceeded to have sex with me while I was crying. I didn't do anything because I lose all motivation and energy to resist when I feel that level of terrible, I feel like it doesn't matter what happens next but, I still feel like that was rape.

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Anyways, I was never romantically or sexually attracted to him. He knew this because I was pretty upfront and honest about it but he still pushed for a relationship. I felt bad for him so I decided to give it a try. We were long distance for a little over a year and then somehow we ended up living together at the start of covid, I was newly 21 at the time. I was happy for the first few weeks but over time the non consensual sex became more and more common. He would essential get turned on very easily and would instantly expect sex from me. I would push him away and eventually he would just drag me into whatever position, pin down my arms, and force himself into me.

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It's weird because I used to like it (it just felt like rough sex) but after a while it stopped feeling kinky and fun and started to feel terrible. It didn't turn me on anymore and so it started to feel uncomfortable and sometimes painful. It became a habit, every-time we had sex he would be pinning me down very forcefully. We never kissed anymore and rarely ever preformed oral sex either way, he would just pull down my clothes and it would be instant penetration. He was really strong so even if genuinely made an effort to resist it was easy for him to keep his hold. It didn't feel playful, it felt serious.

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I asked him to stop doing that multiple times, "You're always forcing me, can you please stop doing that. Can't you just wait until I actually want to have sex with you?" At one point he actually replied "But then we'll never have sex"

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Anyways things were like this for 2 years, I just finally got out of the relationship maybe a month ago it's it's just now hitting me that this was probably rape or at least sexual abuse. I'm not sure but, it sure does make me feel really sad and angry sometimes.