Hi everyone, I'm really confused today because I'm questioning some experiences I had in the past and how I should defined them.

Basically, when i was 17 (I'm now 20) I went into a relationship with a girl for 2 years, in which I was very very unhappy (which I didn't realise until after we broke up.) One night a few months after we had broken up, all of these memories suddenly came back to me based around sexual encounters we had had together. I can't describe all of them because there were quite a lot (considering it was 2 years) but they were all quite similar in nature.

Because of personal issues I was dealing with at the time, sometimes I didn't feel comfortable having sex with my girlfriend. When I would voice this to her that i didn't want to have sex, she would make me feel bad (silent treatment, acting cold towards me, claiming that I didn't love her etc.), threaten to break up with me or embarrass me in front of my friends etc. This would normally go on for a while until I would eventually run out of energy/ give in because of the things she was saying, e.g. I would say yes because I was afraid of her claim to break up with me, or give in because I felt like I was a bad person for not wanting to have sex.

That is a general idea of how a lot of our sexual encounters went down. I went for a long time thinking this was okay/normal/ I was the one in the wrong for "depriving" her of sex, until someone told me one day that they thought that a lot of the situations i was describinh were sexual abuse/rape. So then I came to terms with that and have been seeing a therapist and told him more or less the same as what I've been describing here.

Today when I saw my therapist for the first time in a while, I had asked him if he thought I would benefit from seeing someone who specialises in sexaul abuse, as it had been suggested to me by some close relatives who knows situation. He told me that what I had experienced was "just bad sex which I didn't enjoy" and that it wasn't sexual abuse at all.

So now I'm really confused, and a bit upset because I has believed it was for so long.

So basically I need help with this and advice from some of you guys who would know about this stuff pleaseee!! does that sound like sexual abuse or am I just dramatising it? like can men even be raped by women or is that a myth??

p.s. i can give more specific examples if it's necessary

p.p.s. sorry for how long this post is and thank you if you read this far!!