I need help sorting this out. Here’s what happened. My friend invited me over to her friend Dave’s apartment for dinner. Over dinner, I told everyone about my boyfriend who I was in an LDR with. We were all having fun.

Dave offered to make me a cocktail so I said yes. I don’t remember how much I had, but I got really drunk. He said I could crash on his couch. He got more and more flirtatious with me. I flirted back. I thought it was harmless and wasn’t planning on taking things anywhere, since I’d told him I had a boyfriend after all.

He said he really wanted to give me a massage and kept saying how good it would feel. I was reluctant but I gave in. Then he started going down on me, he didn’t ask but I didn’t try to stop him. I had an orgasm. I reciprocated by going down on him but it was gross.

I felt really awful for sleeping with him and was disgusted by him and attracted at the same time. He kept inviting me out to go places with him, being really persistent until I caved. I told him I just wanted to be friends and he pretended to be ok with that. But he ended up convincing me to come over to his place a few more times. I had orgasms when he went down on me even if it took a lot of him convincing me to let him do it. He was always the center of attention, and “fun” to be around, but obnoxiously so. He was never remorseful. It was off and on for 1-2 months until I finally got up the nerve to end it and cut off all contact.

I’m not sure if it was assault or cheating. I was lonely, missing my boyfriend, craving physical touch, and seeking out sensation. But I feel like he might also have taken advantage. What do you think?