I was sexually assulated by a guy i met when i was 16. After that i avoided any spurt of sexual encounters for while but when i fiannlt met up with one guy it wasn’t penetrative sex and i enjoyed it so u thought it was fine. But any time i’ve tried to have penetrative sec with somone it’s awful no matter how slow or how much lubricant it hurts so bad. It hurts more then when i was assaulted which has been fuckinf with my head bc if that didn’t hurt why is this consensual sex hurting so much. I feel broken and confused. For a whole When i was alone and usedtoys it was fine but unfortunately i was sexually asuslted again at 19 years old veey recently. Since then even toys hurt even small ones i feel like i’m broken now. For context i should say i’m male but idk i’m just so lost rn i feel stupid for even caring about the fact that sex hurts bc the mental trauma is a thing that has been hard enough that this seems pointless to care about but i hate not being able to enjoy myself or with someone i like. For years i avoided dating or anyhing bc i didn’t trust guys at all and i also didn’t want to incovenience a guy with my bagged and fiannlt when it was better and i could trust ra guy again sosmone else came in an destroyed all the healing and growth i had done to the point where i can’t even physically enjoy myself alone.