I’ve always been the kind of girl who gets super in her head about stuff, especially when it comes to, well.. intimacy. Like, I’m naturally pretty "wet" when I’m turned on, which, okay.. I get it.. that’s normal, right? But my ex made me feel like it was some huge flaw.

He used to say stuff like, "It’s too much.. it’s not the same" or "It just ruins the feeling." And at first, I thought maybe he was just being honest, but then it got meaner. He’d make little jabs about how it "wasn’t fun anymore" or blame me if things didn’t go how he wanted. I’d laugh it off, but it definitely got in my head.

To be fair, he was kinda on the thicker side.. like, you know, thick. So maybe he had a harder time feeling stuff? But still.. the way he said it made it seem like I was broken or something.

Since then, I’ve gotten super paranoid about it. Like, with smaller partners, I catch myself overthinking every single thing. One time, I even panicked mid-hookup and told the guy I had to use the bathroom just so I could, you know.. clean up a little and hope it "fixed" things.

Fast forward to a current guy, and it’s been.. different. He’s never said a bad word about it. If anything, he seems into it.. like really into it. He’ll make comments like, "Damn, you’re so turned on," with this smug grin, and it feels good to hear, but there’s still this voice in my head that’s like, What if he’s just being polite?

I know I shouldn’t overthink it. I mean, he’s never complained.. not once. But that stuff my ex said just stuck, you know? Like, what if everyone secretly thinks it’s a problem and no one has the heart to tell me?