Story of how I became a closeted sissy beta. Used and forced to the summer before my first year of college. 31 now, 18 when it happened.

I was always more feminine looking I think, and kind of knew it from an early age. Huge thick ass, and pecs that looked more like tits, not a lot of hair, more smooth and was probably more feminine acting that most. However, when I was 18, and he was 20 the summer before I started college I was forced to crossdress and become his “sissy cum dump” as he called me. He was an older straight jock, 20, that was about 6”2 and 215 lbs of American beef, football player, dark brown hair, perfect legs and was a lot of girls favorite. However, we was dark, a true sadistic alpha dom that started even before me using and humiliating guys that he would target and seek out. Before this happened, I had no idea about kinks and sexuality like I was about to experience. He changed my life and, I will forever be different because of what he forced me to do, and what he did to alter my reality. I was 18, free, and finally done with high school, living my life and having as much fun as possible before college started that August. It was late June, summer of 2008 , and I had been trying to hang out with this group of guys that I had known all through school and were the “popular” group, I was hanging with them, even though I think they kinda thought I was pathetic. I get a text one night to come over to his house, I told him I would be over in about 30. I get to the house, it was kinda dark, I notice his truck was sitting outside but his parents suv were gone, and nobody else, none of the other guys were around either which I thought kinda odd. He was dating a real prude at the time, she was beautiful and gorgeous but had made a promise to her grandparents she wouldn’t lose her virginity until she was married and she made everyone aware of the fact she was a virgin, which was unusual for this guy, because he was a huge sex freak we all knew. They had been dating over a year, and things seemed okay. She was away with her family at the outer banks for 10 days and he was going to have a hell of a time with her gone, he kept saying. I text him I’m hear, and he texts back, come on in faggot, as he often called me, as a joke I thought. I wasn’t gay, I didn’t think, I wasn’t out, and had few thoughts about what was about to happen. I got irritated he called me that, but just let it go, because they always kinda made fun of me because I was a bit girly like in appearance. I wasn’t hairy like them, I was curvy and kinda chubby and had a huge thick ass they all often groped and grabbed and tits they would pinch and grab my nipples. I went in the sliding glass door on the patio, the kitchen and family room was dark. I started yelling for Josh, and he wasn’t answering. I went in the house and he was standing in the kitchen with a bottle of tequila taking shots as he usually did when his parents weren’t home. He said come in here you little bitch, and I said where is everyone? He replied, no idea. We’re gonna have a little fun, he said, he had been drinking I could tell. I said okay, he came over fast, grabbed me by my neck and started squeezing hard, and it hurt, almost choking me. He said, I know what you are, and I’m sick of it. I’m sick of you being a faggot. I said, what are you talking about? He said I know what you are and that you stare at my bulge, and the other day at the pool you kept looking at my chest and dick. I got really red, I guess I had, because I was curious. He got his Motorola razr out, I’ll never forget, and took a picture of me on my knees with his hand around my throat. I said what are you doing? He said getting proof of what you are. He then smacked me hard across the face. He said come here, and he kinda dragged me into the living room. On the sofa was a pair of his girlfriends pink thongs, white stockings, a long cheap blonde Halloween wig from Walmart still in the plastic, a hot pink tank top, and a tube of his moms pink lipstick. He said put all this fucking shit on or everyone’s going to get a text saying you just tried to touch my dick. I begged him, I was scared as fuck, I said please don’t make me do this. He said put the fucking shit on. So, I started taking off my clothes and putting it all on, I took off everything and put on the stockings, then the thong and tank top. He said now the wig, and lipstick faggot. I said please don’t make me do this, and he took a picture of me in the thong and stockings and told me he would send it to everyone if I didn’t do what he said. I put on the wig, the lipstick and he started taking more pictures. He starting laughing and smacking my cheeks. He said god damn. You look pathetic as fuck, I never thought it would be this pathetic looking. He said okay, get on your knees and ask for my cock. Say “ I’m a faggot, and I don’t deserve it, but would love to lick you’re dick” I started getting really nervous and uneasy, and he said fucking say and do what I tell you, or you’ll be a fucking fag in panties I found going through my moms shit to all our friends. I said what he wanted. He said, “good girl” now get my dick out. He had on basketball shorts and a white T-shirt, so he came closer and I got more nervous and upset. He said get my fucking dick out, faggot, I’m not telling you again. I reached for it, and he jerked down the shorts. I saw how much bigger it was then mine, I was maybe 5” hard, he was more like 7.5” and much thicker. He said put my nuts in you’re mouth and lick and suck. I stopped. And he grabbed my head with both hands, and forcefully put his balls in my mouth and started getting hard. He then took my head, and moved it with both hands firmly on it, and took two fingers and put them in my mouth all the way to the back of my throat and gagged me, then he said okay, faggot, time to see what you got and as I was gagging he put his entire half hard cock in my mouth, grabbed my head with both hands and forcefully fucked my throat and mouth while I was gagging and choking. That went on for about 10 minutes, rough, and calling me names the entire time, finally he was tensing up and getting close and he said you’re going to guzzle all this nut faggot, I haven’t gotten off in a long time and had a blow job like this. He grabbed the back of my head and shot what felt like a cup full of cum down the back of my throat without giving me a chance, he kept his hard dick in my mouth and told Me I wasn’t done until I swallowed it all and he felt it go down my throat. I did what he said, and he moved my head away and said okay, time for you’re reward and dragged me on the floor down the hall me trying to get loose from him, and said, get in the shower. I said why? He then pushed me in to the shower, got his phone, took another pic, of my mouth and everything messy and wet, and took out his dick and started pissing all over me, and laughing. He just kept pissing on me and laughing. He emptied his bladder on me, and just left me laying in the shower and walked away. I was in the shower for 10 minutes trying to figure out what just happened, and he finally yelled down the hall to get cleaned up and get my clothes on, the guys were coming over in 20 mins and I just had to pull it together and get cleaned up. That was the start of my sissy spiral and why I’m a closet sissy today. He used me like that for 3 years after, it got much more intense, and I have a lot more to tell, but that’s what shaped and changed my life sexually. It’s why I am who I am today. I’m unsure why it happened, but thankful it did, it made me realize I need a dom alpha in my life. He changed me.