Ahh the good ole church cookout. I haven’t been to one of these in a while. First one at this church but it feels like de ja vu. Something about this cookout reminds me of my 23rd birthday party that my old church threw for me. I guess I’ve tried the whole giving up my slutty ways a few times. I think with a chuckle. I’m not fully sure what it is that’s so familiar though. I mean yeah these parties are all pretty similar same old ladies in big hats while men sit around the fire pit and talk about the best way to cool the meat. The kids running around. It’s like they all have the same play book. As I watch the pork roast turning on the spit over the fire I can’t help but think about that party.

I moved to town at 22. I don’t really have a place to stay and I didn’t know anyone. I did have a job waiting tables so I could afford the rent at one of those pay by the week hotels. Really I was paying all that money for a place to store my luggage because most nights I was sleeping in the bed of whatever man or woman I went home with from the bar.

After a couple of pregnancy and STI scares, plus one super angry girlfriend I started to think I needed to clean up my act a bit and so one Sunday I happened into a church. I actually was going past it on my walk of shame and saw a really hot guy so I went in to meet him but instead met the safe haven I needed to sober up from everything.

After a few weeks the pastor of the church Reverend Jacob let me rent the fully furnished apartment in his basement while he was mentoring me into being a more godly woman. The only problem was that I’m a total sex addict and found it difficult to control my urges. I still found myself meeting men and women online and sneaking them into the basement apartment. And though I hated having to be so quiet while getting railed regularly it was also kind of hot. Eventually I did stop though, the things Jacob would tell me during our sessions started to make sense. That’s when I met Adam.

Adam was the hot guy I saw that day. He was a seminary student Jacob was also mentoring and the leader of my weekly small group which was held in his small apartment above Jacob’s garage. We hit it off pretty quickly and it wasn’t long before I found myself staying late to help Adam clean up. A task he was always eager to reward with a good healthy make out session in his dad’s living room. It was a total recipe for disaster and Adam was stirring that pot well.

I knew I liked Adam a lot and I knew he liked me. More importantly I knew I wanted to ride Adam like a horse but since that wasn’t possible in my new life, I wanted a relationship with him in the hopes of one day getting my insides turned out by him. There was only one problem. Reverend Jacob, as my mentor and spiritual counselor knew a lot of my history and my story. As such he said he would need to approve any relationship I was going to be involved in. And I didn’t think he would be okay with someone like me being so close to the man he intended to make associate pastor one day.

Come to find out that not only was he okay with it. He encouraged it. It was at the end of one of our mentoring sessions which had become almost confessionals. I had finished telling him about how over the weekend I had gone down on two different men in the same day but at different times. I wasn’t bragging. I genuinely felt dirty for it. “Interesting.” He began then started asking deeper questions. “Did they know?” They did not. “Were these the types of guys who would have been okay if it was at the same time?” I didn’t know the answer to that as they were basically strangers but I didn’t admit I had never been with two guys but in my wilder times I had wanted to. Reality is I still had it on my list to be marked off. That’s when I confessed my feelings.

“The truth is Jacob I feel really guilty for doing it” I began he leaned in asking why. “Because there’s a guy I like. Someone I can see myself with. Maybe even one day being a wife to him. But I did this behind his back because I just couldn’t help myself” I said with tears welling up.

“Annie, you have an addiction. You can’t help what your body calls you to do. That’s the enemy inside you. Tell me about this man” he said and I unloaded how Adam and I had gotten close. How we had kissed a few times even and how I really wanted to date him but didn’t want to lead him from his calling. Jacob leaned back in his chair with a soft smile. “I think you should date Adam. I think the two of you would be good for each other. I think he will be enough to keep that demon in your loins from controlling your brain.” He leaned back in. “Besides. That kid has had a very sheltered life. Not like you and I” Jacob had told me a few stories of his womanizing youth, which if I’m honest, had I known that Jacob, he would’ve been exactly the type of guy I would’ve gone for. “I think someone with your experience is exactly what that boy needs. You have my blessing” I was so excited I couldn’t wait to tell Adam.

Adam was thrilled at the knees but not nearly as shocked as I was. Either way on that date we became officially a couple. Now I’ve never been good in relationships, especially with men, I tend to get bored and stray pretty easily. The fact that we weren’t having sex made it even harder to be faithful to Adam. Don’t get me wrong. We did a lot of stuff but, despite my best efforts, it never went past dry humping in our underwear. In fact, I had never even seen his cock, which for me to be beyond a few dates with someone and not at least seen his dick, much less sucked it, was a very new experience. One that was driving me crazy.

To add to it Jacob had Adam and I doing couples counseling with him where he insisted on total transparency. “You have to talk about it because when you keep it inside is when it takes hold of you” he would say. So once a week I would sit and recount in graphic details everything Adam and I did. Then would have to talk openly about my desires for him and listen as he talked about how badly he wanted to be inside me. Between all of that and the not getting the dick I so separately craved I was turning to a gooey horny mess. Sometimes it felt like Adam was being extra graphic to keep me horny for him. Hopefully not because that’s what made me come so close to cheating. That is until I took Jacob’s advice to heart.

I’d had a Reddit for a while where I shared my stories for horny men to read and beat off to. I liked how that thought made me feel despite the fact that I rarely interacted with any of them. But as I was getting close to being unfaithful I decided to take the leap and start talking to the men. Talking turned to sexting turned to regular sexting. One man in particular knew exactly what to say and do to push all my buttons and quickly get me to the orgasm I so desperately desired. This seemed to help take the animal inside me. At least until my birthday party, the day everything I thought my life was becoming got turned upside down.

Despite the fact that my birthday fell on the weekend of the women’s retreat, and event Jacob and I agreed would be good for my growth, he and Adam both insisted that I deserved to be celebrated on my actual day. For that reason, despite the few friends and family I invited, there were only a couple of women and over forty men at my party. I wasn’t complaining. The weeks leading up had gotten quite stressful. Adam and I were getting closer and closer to fulfilling our desires and it was getting harder to calm down after. A few nights prior we fell asleep watching a movie and when we woke up around midnight we were deep in a make out session. My shirt was up around my neck which he was kissing while hovering over me and I had his dick in my hand. He pulled back and went down and started kissing up my thighs but stopped just short enough that I could feel his breath in my pubic hair. Despite my begging him to just take one little taste he stopped himself and insisted I leave. I went home got on Reddit and found my favorite sexting partner whom I also crossed several lines with to get calmed down.

It worked though. By the day of the party the incident was as far from my mind as possible. I was in a good godly mood. In fact I was even wearing a bra and panties under my sun dress. Mind you it was a see thru bra and a thong but it was still something I never did and I only did so out of a desire for modesty. Hell, I was even almost okay with the no alcohol rule. It was interesting celebrating my birthday sober for once. At least I won’t end up dancing naked on a table this year.

My birthday is in late may and the weather was warmer so we opted for a cookout in Jacob’s back yard. I was standing off to one side with Adam and a friend of mine from work. We were talking but he had a weird look on his face. “Babe. Everything ok?” I asked

“Wasn’t there music playing earlier?” He asked me back. I hadn’t realized the music had stopped but wanting to be a good helpful girlfriend I said “you and Jamie get to know each other I’ll take care of it”

I kissed his cheek then went over to Jacob who was manning the grill and asked about the music. “Stupid computer probably went to sleep on me.” I giggled

“Why not just put it on your phone?” I asked still giggling

“I’m too old and stubborn to figure out how to connect my phone to these speakers. Give me a minute to get these burgers cooked and I’ll go restart it” he said irritated. I don’t think he ever intended to be the griller.

“Relax grandpa. I’ll go take care of it” I said setting my cup by the grill. “Is it the computer in the office?”

“That’s the only one I have” he said matter of factly. “It’s down the hall and to the…

“Jacob,” I interrupted, “I’ve been meeting with you at least once a week for nearly a year now. Pretty sure I know where it is” I say then turn and head down to his office.

When I get in there I go behind the desk and sit in his chair. As many times as I’ve been in here I’ve always sat on the other side of the desk never this side so it’s fun. I do take a few moments to go through the drawers and see what he has. Boring office stuff I say in a voice mimicking his. I wiggle the mouse and the computer wakes up. “Of course it’s not password locked. He’s so trusting” I move the mouse down to the task bar and see the video player app is open but the tab next to it catches my eye. The familiar Reddit icon is so noticeable. Immediately I go to that place assuming everyone is as perverted as me. “Hmmm what are you into reverend?” I say softly as I click it.

It opens to a private message between him and someone else. My desire to invade his privacy is overshadowed by the image in the center of the screen blurred out with an NSFW warning. I get a sly smile again. “Oh Jacob. Naughty boy” I look over at the door to make sure the coast is clear then click the image to open it. Immediately I am stunned to the point of pushing back in the chair.

There in the center of the monitor is an image I never expected him to have. It’s a close up of a vagina surrounded by soft red pubic hair and filled with a long thick dildo. It’s not the fact that it’s a vagina that stuns me. I expected that’s what he had and I’ve seen many several times. What has me so shaken up is that I’ve seen this vagina several times. I’ve seen this photo several times. I took this photo. He had an image of my vagina on his screen.

I took this one back when I first started to get into sexting on here. I shared it with several guys over the months. So my first thought was that someone who knew me found it and sent it to him. I was so nervous that I was going to have to deal with this at my next meeting with him. “Oh god did they share it with Adam too? Who did this to me?@ I asked quietly then slid back to the desk and closed the image to read the message. The words are familiar. I look at the username of the sender. It’s me.

“Wait what? Why would I send this to him? What is going on?” That’s when I see his username. Revvedup247. The man who I had been talking to all this time. The line I crossed was this message thread. I sent him this photo and made a plan to fuck him. “Revvedup247, the man who has spoken to me in such a way to make me cum multiple times a night was Jacob all along?”

“Babe, everything okay?” I hear Adam asking as he makes his way down the hall. “Fuck” I quickly minimize the tab and open the music player and start the music.

“Yeah I’m in here babe!” I call out as I get up from behind the desk just as he walks into the room carrying two cups. I smile trying to cover all of the shock and confusion I am feeling. Does he know it’s me he’s taking to? What are the odds of that? But how would he know? I’m so careful about my posts to keep my identity a secret.

“I know what you were doing” Adam accuses. I freeze. Fuck he does know what the hell is happening? “You were snooping through his desk”

I laugh nervously. “Yep. Busted. But it’s all boring stuff” I say as I come around and kiss him softly. Then I pull back and look at him shocked. His tongue tastes like almost pure bourbon. He smiles and taps a cup onto his hip pocket that holds a flask he then holds the cup out. “I made one for you too” he says with a smile. I take the cup and take a pretty good sized drink then smile at him my mind still on what I just found out. He reaches out and strokes my cheek looking at me in a new way.

“What?” I ask with a chuckle wondering if he can read my face

“Nothing I just want to take this in. I’m going to call it the before face”

“Before what?” I ask taking another drink.

“Before you get your present silly”

I perk up. “Oh are we doing gifts now?”

He chuckles “no but that’s not what I meant anyway. Besides I’m giving you your present later on. After everyone leaves. It’s something I know you really want” he teases then takes my hand and says we should get outside. Wait is Adam hinting at what I think he is? Wait no I can’t handle. First the Jacob thing now Adam wants to fuck? What is happening in my life right now? When we came out the first person I saw was Jacob. Suddenly I realized for an older man he was fairly attractive. Oh god I checked out his bulge I turn and start to walk back to my friend.

“Annie” I hear Jacob call out. I turn and look with a forced smile. He holds up the drink I left shaking it. I nod and walk over to him wanting to scream what the fuck. “Waste not want not” he says as He pours what was left into my now half empty cup Adam brought me. I smile and walk away quickly.

The rest of the party I tried to not be awkward but every time I would look at Jacob I would just flash back to our online conversations. The number of dick pics he’d sent me and whenever Adam would get a moment he would hint that I was going to remember this birthday forever. My head was in a whirlwind and it all felt so insane. How is this all happening at the same time? I was careful not to get too drunk but I did have a fair buzz by the time everyone started leaving.

Adam and I were on the back deck pulling down decorations, the sun had just started to set, everyone else had already left, when Jacob comes out holding out two ice cold beers. “Here you two have been working hard. You earned these” we each take our beer “besides I’m pretty sure that flask has been empty for a while now” he adds giving Adam a look. Adam chuckles softly

“You saw that huh?” Jacob just nods. I put the last of the streamers in the garbage bag and tie it up about to take it to the dumpster. “No way. I got that” Adam says taking it from my hand 0its your birthday. You relax enjoy your beer and the sunset” with that he vanishes unit he house. The dumpster is across the street and down an alley so I’m looking at three to five minutes alone with Jacob. I turn to watch the sunset and drink my beer. That’s when it started.

Jacob came up behind me and started massaging my shoulders. This was nothing new. He had done this dozens of times. But those times I didn’t know I’d seen his dick. “Did you have a good party?” He asked in his soft but commanding way. I nodded and mumbled yes as he kept massaging “man you’re really tense is everything okay?”

“Hmm? Yeah yeah I’m fine. Just been on my feet all day so it kind of wound me up” I lied

“Ahh that makes sense” he began then started moving from the tops of my shoulders to my shoulder blades and then leaned in and softly said “I thought it was because of what was on my computer screen” I froze. How did he know? Did I not close it back? Did I do something wrong? “Relax Annie. I wanted you to find that” he said moving from my shoulder blades back up to my shoulders then down to my arms “you have no clue how long I’ve wanted to tell you.” He admitted as his hands went up and down my arms

“How long did you know it was me?” I asked meekly

He just chuckled. “The whole time kitten. I created the account to read your stuff” I looked back slightly confused on how he knew about it. “You can thank your boyfriend for turning me onto it. Though he wasn’t your boyfriend at the time. He was just worried about you. You were new to the church and new to his small group. He thought you were headed down a bad path.

“And what did you think?” I asked hoping I wasn’t in trouble.

“The same thing I’ve thought since I first laid eyes on you” he said his hands started going around my waist then up cupping my breasts and pulling me back against him “that you’re a hot piece of ass and I need to feel your insides stroking me” his dick was starting to get hard. My half drunk confused brain was foggy but my pussy wasn’t she was wet. She wanted this. Badly. He started kissing my neck. “The only thing harder than sitting there listening to you tell those stories and not take my cock out was watching you sneak those people in then hearing how much pleasure they gave you. God I was so jealous.

“Jacob. We can’t” I panted out as I moved my hips to rub my ass on his hard cock which is exactly what he wanted.

“Sure we can” he said as he moved his hand down to my thigh pulling my dress up enough to put his hand against it. “In fact I think you want to. Pretty badly” His hand reaches my hip and he hooks his hand into the waistband of my panties. “You won’t be needing these “he says as he pulls them down below my knees then says. “Be a good girl and step out of them. I lift my legs up and put one at a time. Then turn to face him. He’s suddenly so sexy the way he looks at me as he slides my panties between his fingers feeling how wet they are. “Yeah you want to” he says confidently.

My mind is no longer cloudy or confused I know what I want. I want this. I’ve always wanted this I think. “What about your wife?” I ask not to dissuade but to make sure he’s thought of everything.

“You know conveniently she’s away for the weekend” he says smirking

“So you planned this?” I ask and he just nods. “What about Adam?”

He smirks more “I’m pretty sure he’s okay sharing” I gave him a look and he knew exactly what I was thinking. He just nodded

“Wow that was a longer trip than I expected” Adam says as he comes out the door. He sees Jacob and I standing there staring at each other. “What’s happening here?” He asked slowly. “What are we talking about?” I could tell he was a bit nervous.

“I was just talking to Annie about her birthday present” I looked at Jacob then at Adam.

“I told you it would be a birthday you’d never forget” Adam said. I walked over to him and asked in a low voice to save his pride “are you sure you want to lose your virginity like this?