For context I graduated as a Physician’s Assistant and I make very good money as a travel PA. I have always been very self conscious about my stomach and side fat, as well as my breast size (was a small C) and neck and face fat. I have always been in good shape, I could just never manage to get rid of the fat and it destroyed my self esteem. My boyfriend of 4 years always tells me how good I look but I always felt that I wasn’t good enough for him, even though I have a very large and nice ass with great thick muscled thighs, it was always the rest I worried about. It doesn’t help that I am 5’9 so I always worry about looking to big and large.

Fast forward to spring of this year I decided I was going to get cosmetic surgery since I was making great money as a travel PA. I told my boyfriend I was going to get some botox in my browline, lypo in my stomach, sides, neck, and face. As well as a breast augmentation up to a DD. My boyfriend was very against it because he thought I was just doing it out of hate of my body and he told me I have always been beautiful and just have a “natural body”. We argued over it but I decided to get it done anyway.

I got it all done when I was a travel PA in Los Angeles county for a few months after my contract ran out. Then convinced me to get lypo on my stomach, shoulders, neck, face, arms, and back. As well as the botox in my brow and my breast augmentation. After a few different surgeries and a bunch of visits I was basically all done. They did this recently popularized lypo where they basically carve you visible abs by sucked out fat in certain places. The recovery sucked but I basically was on vacation in LA during it so it was not horrible.

But the end of it, I have a beautiful narrow face, large sexy tits that look very natural for augmented breasts (not my words) and a very toned, fatless body with gorgeous visible abs. My toned ass and legs stayed the same with a lil bit of fat on them so I was still nice and thicc so my whole body just looks like a model or pornstar now and I loved it. Kept just looking at myself in the mirror I was so thrilled with it. Even my boyfriend was in awe when I got home he said I looked like a Victoria’s Secret model. He said I looked like an IG model or a pornstar and we had sex like twice a day everyday. I got my hair dyed a beautiful platinum blonde and started using tanning beds. I had these sexy bikinis tan lines it was honestly just the best. My sex life was amazing, my confidence was through the roof and I looked like a model.

I am a homebody. So I honestly don’t go out much. So I didn’t realize what my new body really meant until my next travel contract. It was in Miami-Dade county in Florida so I went way down south in the summer at this point. My first few days were fine but legit everyone wanted to be my friend. Doctors, nurses, emts. As a woman people are generally more nice to you. But people were bringing me lunch, parking my car, rubbing my shoulders. It was insane. Both male and female coworkers.

I decided I wanted to visit the beach and so I got some new swimsuits that could accommodate my new figure both one and two piece. I got all dolled up with my bikini and sunglasses with my hair in a high up braid and went to the beach to relax on my day off. I noticed everyone was looking at me, young men, old men, women, i started to feel a little self conscious. My bikini wasn’t the smallest there but it barely covered me. Only 5 minutes into tanning a guy blocked my sun and I looked up and it was this gorgeous, light skinned black man who was extremely tall and fit. He started asking me where I was from, what I did for work and how long I was staying here.

Eventually after talking for like 10 minutes he asked me if I wanted to come see his apartment, he was a former college football player and now a business executive here. I agreed cause I had never really bad friends while on my travel rotation so he drove me to his upper floor apartment overlooking the beach. It had a beautiful view and he gave me a mixed drink and we chatted by the window for awhile.

I still had my bikini on but had a small little cloth type skirt that covered my waist area a little bit. Eventually we had had a few drinks and were joking around before he put some music on and we started dancing. I had learned to shake my ass and twerk recently (which was a huge accomplishment for me because I am extremely uncoordinated) and while kinda drunkingly showing off he came up behind me and put his hips against me so I was basically shaking my ass on his dick.

I didn’t stop because I was stupid and tipsy and honestly proud of my new skill in booty shaking and liked I was able to show it off. To someone who wasn’t my bf (cause he would always just say it was good even if it wasn’t.) I felt him getting hard and kinda realized this was a bad idea but he was holding on my hips so I just kept going to the beat of this latin song he had on. Eventually I stood fully up still shaking my ass side to side and he came in real close. He started kissing my neck and up behind my ear. It tickled and I kinda giggled and sighed and he kept going. I kept shaking my ass side to side, I could feel a huge hard dick under his boardshorts that basically was getting pingponged back and forth as my ass cheeks shook. I was really tipsy and honestly was just not thinking at all.

Eventually he reached infront of me and pulled my tits easily out of the tiny bikini top and started grabbing and playing with them. I moan and looked back at him and he took this as an opportunity to start making out with me. Our tongues were all over eachothers mouths and I turned full around and started rubbing his dick through his shorts and kissing his chest. He leaned over my shoulder and slapped my ass and jiggled it while I rubbed him and I let out a little “Ah!”

Eventually I don’t know what came over me I guess I was just drunk and I got to my knees and pulled out his huge, thick veiny dick. It was massive like 8 inches and was fucking HEAVY. I slapped it against my face and tongue while looking up at him before I just said fuck it and took his big pink mushroom head into my mouth. I started slurping on the head of his dick, it barely fitting in my mouth while rhythmically stroking him at the same time.

He started saying things like “Fuck yeah good slut.” And “Take that shit bitch” which just made me go faster. Eventually he grabbed the back of my head and started thrusting into my mouth almost hitting my gag reflex making me go guak guak guak as he thrusted. Each thrust that hit my gag reflex made me spray spit all over his dick and balls getting him dripping wet. After a few minutes of this he stood me up and bent me over a table next to us. I took a wide stance and started shaking my ass back and forth for him. He came back from his bathroom and put a lot of lube on his giant black dick before pulling my bikini bottoms down and shoving his face between my cheeks.

He started licking my ass and I moaning loudly and shook my ass as he slobbered all over my ass and pussy. He quickly stood up and without much warning, I felt the head of his cock groping around for my pussy before finally finding the hole and slowly pushing in. We both let out an “ooooOoOoOoooohhhhh” as it went it. He asked me if I ever see “big dogs down here. Because you are tight as fuck.” A wave of guilt hit be because my boyfriend while great in bed is 5 1/2 inches and not super thick. It stretched me a ton but slid in pretty easily. He didn’t wait long to start “clapping my cheeks” with his hands on my ass and hips just pounding away at me. It was barely not hitting my cervix so it felt great in this position with my ass cheeks keeping him from hurting me with that huge dick. He asked me “Goddamn baby you look like you a star on the Hub, you do porn?” I just kept moaning and enjoying the fat dick I was getting.

I was hitting a spot my bf can only hit with my legs up by my ears just in standing doggy and it felt fucking amazing. It also probably hurt less cause I was definitely tipsy or drunk. I started cumming while he went particularly fast and my knees buckled and I cried out as he fucked me. “Tell me you like that black dick.” He kept saying and in my drunken horniness I kept calling back to him I love the black dick daddy.

After around 10 minutes of us fucking in doggy and making out he pulled out of me and spun me around to my knees and started jacking off over me. I knew what was coming so I tipped my head back, stuck my tongue out, and jiggled my tits giggling waiting for his load.

It wasn’t long of him twisting and stroking his dick making dirty wet noises that he cried out and huge ropes of cum shot out on me. They got this strings all over my face, chin, neck and tits and also in my mouth. After he was done he threw me a towel and I took a shower and got cleaned up. He asked me if I had an IG and if I was an instagram model since I looked like an OF or Ig model. I told him no I just worked in hospitals. He said I “should quit and start an OF” I told him I wasn’t interested in doing that and started to feel a few waves of guilt pass over me due to the fact I just drunkingly cheated on my longtime love. He proceeded to show me some pornstars and IG models I “Look just like” an he told me he knew a model agent he could get me in touch with and I declined.

I eventually took an uber back to my Airbnb and cried sinceI felt so guilty about the cheating and how I fell so easily for the male attention I was getting cause of my new body. I proceeded to finish out me travel rotation in Miami and ended up cheating another 3 times with the same guy and another of his friends. Mostly the same story, got drunk and fell for the male attention. I don’t super remember what happened so I won’t get into it.

When I finally got home. I immediately came clean to my boyfriend and cried in his arms. Eventually after talking it out, he told he needs space and that he would call me when hes ready. He has gotten a hotel room and has been there for 5 days. I just keep seeing my social media blow up from my pictures from Miami and feel a stupid validation from it. I’ve gained 8k followers in 4 days and I keep seeing the number and comments and likes go up and its intoxicating.

I feel like this cosmetic surgery ruined my life and turned me into a different person. Just needed to get this off my chest somewhere. I don’t know what to do.