Last night was one of those nights I’ll probably hate myself for forever, but also kind of can’t stop thinking about.

My boyfriend, Caleb, was throwing this little get-together at his place—a bunch of his frat brothers, some girlfriends, cheap beer, loud music, the usual. I was there, playing the part of the chill girlfriend, mingling, laughing at jokes that weren’t funny, pretending I wasn’t already bored out of my mind. Caleb, of course, was busy being the social butterfly, arm slung over some bro's shoulder, too wrapped up in his conversations to notice much else.

That’s when I saw Evan—his older brother—leaning against the counter in the kitchen, sipping from a bottle of something expensive-looking. He’s always been quiet, kind of broody, the total opposite of Caleb’s loud, golden-boy energy. But god, he’s also so much hotter. Broad shoulders, that perfect amount of stubble, and this way of looking at you like he already knows all your secrets.

I figured I’d escape the noise and grab some water, but as soon as I walked in, he smirked, that stupid, cocky smirk. “Bored already?” he asked, his voice low and teasing.

I rolled my eyes, trying to play it cool. “Just needed a break from all the beer pong and bad jokes.”

“Caleb’s not much for paying attention when he’s got a crowd, huh?” he said, stepping closer. I could feel the heat of him, the scent of his cologne—woodsy and expensive—making my head spin a little.

“He’s just busy,” I said, but even I didn’t believe it.

Evan chuckled, his eyes dropping briefly to my lips before meeting my gaze again. “Busy forgetting he’s got the hottest girl in the room.”

My stomach flipped. It was such a simple line, but the way he said it, like it was an undeniable fact, sent a shiver down my spine.

“You shouldn’t say stuff like that,” I whispered, but I didn’t move when he took another step closer.

“Why not? It’s true.” His hand reached up, brushing a strand of hair out of my face. The touch was so light, so careful, but it sent sparks through my entire body.

I should’ve left. I knew I should’ve walked right out of that kitchen, gone back to Caleb, pretended this little moment never happened. But instead, I stayed frozen, watching as Evan’s eyes roamed my face like he was memorizing every detail.

And then he kissed me.

It wasn’t soft or hesitant—it was desperate, hungry, like he’d been holding back for years and finally couldn’t anymore. His lips were warm, his hands sliding to my waist, pulling me against him, and I… I let him. I kissed him back. Hard.

His fingers dug into my hips as he pushed me back against the counter, his body pressing into mine. I could feel him—all of him—hard and insistent against my stomach. My hands tangled in his hair, pulling him closer, wanting more, needing more.

For a second, it was like the world disappeared—just his lips, his hands, the heat between us. But then reality came crashing back.

“Evan,” I gasped, breaking away, my chest heaving. “We can’t—this is—Caleb—”

He didn’t say anything, just stared at me, his breathing just as ragged, his hands still on my hips. And god, the way he looked at me, like I was the only thing in the world that mattered… it almost made me forget how wrong this was.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said, stepping back, his hands falling to his sides. “I shouldn’t have—”

“It’s not your fault,” I said quickly, even though I knew it was a lie. I’d kissed him back. I’d wanted it just as much as he did.

The rest of the night was a blur. I avoided both of them as much as I could, pretending nothing had happened, but every time I caught Evan’s eye, my stomach twisted.

And now? I can’t stop replaying it in my head. The way he touched me, the way he looked at me… I feel so guilty, but at the same time, I can’t help but wonder what would’ve happened if I hadn’t stopped him.

Fuck. I’m the worst.