So I needed to get this off my chest because it's been on my mind for a couple of days even tho I know it's incredibly wrong. It's a bit long so please forgive me. Background, I'm a 25 year old male night shift support worker for kids in care and engaged. These kids tend to be ones who are unable to go into foster or other care needs because of issues they may have.

It's a bit long so I apologise.

At the time, I worked with 3 girls, L was 18, B was 15 and C was 21, I've worked with the same three girls for three years with a shift partner of course. B and C are home based, they've got mild learning difficulties but have a very explosive temperament, hence them in care. L was the one who was for all intent and purposes normal, she went into care because at 15 when she came to us, had drug and alcohol issues and would solicit herself to get those needs. In those 3 years, I had looked after her numerous times where I had to call an ambulance due to an OD, hold her hair while she vomited in the toilet, administering medication and administer first aid when she tried to self harm. After just over a year, she cleaned up and started going to college and being a functional member of society however, her old habits made her very promiscuous so she bounced from boyfriend to boyfriend and got into problems with other women as she seduced their boyfriends, she also stated at one time that she feels she could be a nymphomaniac as all she can think about is sex, again as a professional I and my colleagues would give her advice and information to help such as counseling or GP visits. At 18 she was put under a voluntary order meaning she was free from rules and was promoted to do as she pleased providing she kept in contact while out and didn't go back to drugs. At this point she remained under our care for 8 months and in that time she acted like a normal 18 year old, partied, had boyfriends, had a job and college. She was very comfortable with myself and other staff members, asking if outfits were "hot" when they were very revealing, (which of course we were professional with our responses) walking out in just a towel and talking to us briefly to even walking around in just CK underwear which we kept telling her she needed to cover up. Anyway, after those 8 months she moved on and got her own place and was independent. She got on well with B and C so everyone was upset when she left.

Fast forward 6 months and I've been having relationship issues with my fiance, stress of work, lack of intimacy and other factors were getting to me after 7 years together. One night I decided to go out for a drink at a bar I frequently visit with my friends but this time I went alone to clear my head. I ordered a drink, went to a vacant table and sat drinking, loud music, people dancing and having a good time.

I went up to get another drink and I got a tap on the shoulder. I turn around and it's L dressed in a very skimpy black dress with a beaming grin on her face, she gave me a hug and we exchanged pleasantries and had a brief catch up. I didn't tell her about my concerns but she told me she had recently broken up with her boyfriend because he cheated. She joked that all boys are the same and that in future she will just get a man. I said my goodbyes and went back to my table to drink my drink. I went outside later to have a smoke and she was there again, vaping and texting on her phone, she came over and continued talking. Now at this point I was four drinks down and admittedly I'm not the quickest person when it comes to hints when I'm sober let alone with a slight buzz. it wasn't too late, probably around 8pm and the sun was still up and L asked if I could come over to her place and change the lightbulb in her bathroom. From my time working with L I knew she hated the dark and always needed light so I agreed after she said her apartment was only 5 minutes walk away.

I walked behind her following to her place, admittedly, for the first time ever, I noticed L was very well shaped, had a very nice ass, perfect waist and figure, I did get a little turned on but blew it off as we headed to her place. On arrival we took the elevator and as I went in I again caught myself looking at her large perky breasts and quickly tried to regain my composure, unaware that L had caught me looking. I went into the lift but unfortunately I became rock hard, I took of my jacket and put it Infront of me to hide the outline from L. We reached her door and she opened it, instructed where the spare bulbs were in the kitchen and pointed out where the bathroom was. I went in, changed the bulb and turned it on, I gave a polite chuckle and said I'd be on my way. L stood Infront of me, very close, looking up at me with a slight grin and said "the bulb didn't need changing" and with that she dropped to her knees. At that point I clicked what was happening and found myself unable to say anything. She unzipped my jeans and pulled out my hard cock, she gave a surprised gasp and said "that's bigger then I expected, fuck!" (that felt like a huge compliment, I am 7inches and quite girthy but it's been a long time since a compliment was thrown my way) she began giving me the best oral I've ever experienced, something my fiance would never do, she gagged, drooled, spit and gasped all over it, her eyes locked on me with sheer hunger and desire. I felt so good for the first time in a very long time, after a few minutes of oral, she took off her dress which I then noticed just how sexy she actually was, and jumped into my arms, kissing me wildly. I pinned her against the wall, moved her panties to the side and penetrated her hard. It was so tight and wet with her reacting so sexily to it, her moans and screams spurred me on and her dirty talk was next level, like something out of the most deprived pornos. I pulled out and took off her underwear, she grabbed my cock and escorted me to her bedroom where we fucked like wild animals in numerous positions. She screamed, yelled dirty talk, bit and scratched me saying all the while "this is so fucking good, your fucking stretched her out". She told me to cum all over her face and tits which I obliged, she licked it up and smeared it all over her tits. It was hot, she blew me again to clean me and said "ive wanted to do that for so long and fuck that was worth the wait". After a while I left the apartment and began to feel guilty, I've not felt wanted or desired in a while, my fiance had lost that spark and we dont really cuddle on a night like we use to, just wear some t-shirts and shorts and then turn over. This was wild with L, she wanted me and begged me to do things to her and it felt amazing. After a few days (yesterday), she texted me (kept my number from when she was under our care) asking if I could "come over and fix her TV". This time, I know what she ment and I'm sat here now not knowing what to do. I love my fiance but we are in a massive dry spell with no passion and she seems content with that where as L really wants me and I've yet to reply to the message. What should I do?