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Part 51

He gave me a huge smile, and simply said, “I love it when this part of you comes out to play. I can’t wait till she is here full-time.”

I smiled, I blushed, and he took me home.

When I got home, my body was still tingly, and my mind was still high on everything that had happened. I was still a little ashamed; I was not sure it was okay for me to like everything that had happened and what I had thought. I could not believe I had said the things I said to Gabriel. I thought he might be judging me, you know? But then again, he kind of incited them… It’s his fault!

I was expecting Mom to be asleep, but when I walked in, there she was, in the living room watching TV and on her phone.

Since we started talking more, I felt we were getting closer, and I wanted to continue the closeness with her. I said hello, gave her a kiss on the forehead, and went to the kitchen to boil water for tea.

I ran to my room and quickly changed out of my “car-ride-orgasming” clothes, put on sweatpants and a T-shirt, and headed back to the kitchen.

Yeah, yeah, I know I should’ve showered. I planned to take a shower before bed… nosey ass.

I made two cups of tea and invited Mom to sit with me at the table, and to say she was surprised is an understatement. She said, “YOU want to spend time… with ME?”

It was good to see her face light up with a smile, and she couldn’t get to the table fast enough.

This was very unusual for us. Usually, when I’d come home, I would scurry to my room and hop on my computer while she either watched TV in the living room or went to her room.

So, we started talking, and she did find the tea thing a little odd—she preferred coffee—but she rolled with it. It was unusual for me too!

I also knew that by doing this, I might be inviting her to start asking questions that I was not ready to answer… or was I?
I didn’t know, but I was not avoiding them as I usually would.

She started asking me about my day and all that stuff. I asked about her day, and she said, “Another day, another dollar.”
Hmm… interesting, I never noticed that this was her go-to response. It reminded me of my conversation with Gabriel about things that have been passed down for generations.
I wondered if Mom had adopted hopelessness or resignation as part of who she was. I also realized that I had my own go-to response, which was “Same old, same old.”

For a moment, I felt defensive… almost exposed, but I was exposed to myself. It was like I was ashamed and calling myself out on my own shit.

She broke my moment and said, “Tell me more about this guy of yours, Gabriel.” Hm… I knew this would happen. Being coy and not wanting to volunteer more information than I was ready to, I asked what anyone in my position would ask. I said, “What do you want to know?”
She wanted to know where we met, if he was from school, where he was from… normal stuff.
I told her that I met him at a coffee shop and that he was done with school. I figured that would satisfy her line of questioning.

Her reaction was funny, she said, “Look at you, getting picked up at coffee shops!” which caused us to laugh a little, and then I told her how he says that I picked HIM up at the coffee shop by throwing a coin at his feet. We laughed, but then she wanted to know if he was right.
I explained that it was an accident and that she knew how shy I was—there was no way I could ever do that—but I was happy it happened.
She got quiet and said, “You look happy, I am glad it happened too… you were starting to worry me, always in your room in that damn computer.” I said, “Well, worry no more, Mother, I am good!” I was hoping that was the end of the questioning, but then she said, “So, he is done with school? How old is he?”

AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGG!!!!!!!
Ctrl Z! Ctrl Z! Ctrl Z! Undo! Undo! Undoooooooo!
Undo the whole tea thing, fuck!!!!!!

I was torn and panicked a little. Do I tell her the truth? Do I find a way around the question? I sure as fuck couldn’t tell her to mind her business. I kind of wanted to run to my room.

I thought to myself, “Red, you’re a grown woman and she is going to have to respect your decisions.” And while that was true, there’s also the fact that Mom is old school and would still beat me with her shoe… Still will to this day!
But there was a part of me that just wanted to be honest… Most of my life, my “personal” life had been in hiding, behind a glowing screen in the middle of the night. Maybe it was time for a change… but I was worried about her reaction. I was enjoying this newfound openness with her and did not want to ruin it.

At the same time, I felt like I was finally turning the corner on a lifetime of loneliness and isolation. I decided that, while she might’ve been ready to hear this information, I was not ready to share it. I just needed to think about it more.
I cowered and said, “He is old enough, nosey lady!” To my surprise, she laughed and said, “You can’t blame an old lady for trying!” and she just let it go. Phew!

I knew that at some point, I was going to have that conversation, but it was not time yet.

Mom then asked what I had done that night, and I was shocked at myself when I heard myself say, “I followed your advice and spent some time in his car.”
We cracked up!
She said, “Red, you little slut!” and I responded, “Mother, if you must, I prefer ‘floozie’; I have class.” And the laughter continued.

I heard a voice in my head saying, “Yeah, telling Gabriel you’re on board with him fucking your lips… that was classy.” And another voice said, “I’m learning here—it’s almost like extra credit in a class… sort of classy-ish, right?”

Apparently, Mom did not appreciate the few seconds of silence while I was battling my internal, judgmental, prude nemesis. She concocted a way to throw me for a loop. She said, “So, you guys were having sex in the car?”

What the fuckles, mother! Boundaries, Lady!

I caught on, I think. She was trying to find out if I was still a virgin, but if she wasn’t trying to find out, my response could, maybe, avoid answering the question, quite cunning, if I say so myself.
That may not have been the question she asked, but that’s the one I was going to answer! I said, “Mother, are you trying to be nosey and find out if I am a virgin?” and she replied, “Well, a mother wonders.”

Well… shit. This is a bad situation no matter what I do. I certainly don’t want to tell her what I’ve been doing in the car… Hell, half the time I don’t want to acknowledge it, but the other half, JFC!
I also don’t want to lie to her, because that is not what we do in Gabriel’s family, certainly not his main girlfriend.

So, my only real option was to tell her the truth, well, A TRUTH. I said, “No Mom, I am not a virgin. It happened on prom night with that guy I was seeing, remember Eric?”

Don’t judge me, jerk! It was true!

Mom said, “Yeah, I remember him. I kind of knew something happened; it is not like you staying out that late. What ever happened to him?” —It worked! We’re no longer talking about sex in the car!
I said, “I don’t know, I never heard from him after that.” She replied, “Yeah, men do that. But right before they do that, it’s a great time,” and we cracked up again! Who knew Mom was this funny? Chip off the old block, I see.

Mom then decided to get serious and said, “Listen hun, just make sure you are careful. There are a lot of diseases and things out there, and I am not ready to be a grandmother, you hear?”

I was feeling really good about sharing the moment with Mom, so I decided to confide a little and said, “Actually, Gabriel wanted us to get tested and get birth control before we take that step.” Mom was shocked and said, “Really? Now I know I am getting old. When I was dating, we didn’t talk about those things. I used to have to convince guys to wear condoms and they would try to convince me to not; it was always a competition to see who won.” —This moment! This moment is one that will haunt me for the rest of time. I was dying to say, “Mom, he is older than you!”

It is the joke that got away. Sigh.

My only solace is that maybe someday, one of you will actually get the opportunity to use this joke at some point in your life. Unless you’re the mother, then it will probably suck.

Anyway, I explained that he is very unusual and emphasized my well-being, safety, and comfort before anything happens. I said, “I know I don’t have much experience, but in the little experience that I have, I could see he was not like every other guy.” —At that moment, I knew I had pushed my luck because Mom said, “Sounds like he is older or has a lot of experience for his age.” —and with that said, I started planning my escape from that kitchen. Whatever I said next was either going to make me lie or be more honest than I was ready to be—two things I was determined not to do, FUCK.

As I picked up the teacups, I said, “Maybe one of us was overdue for some good luck and it’s my turn. Right, Mother?” She said, “Right, I am just glad you’re out of your room, hun.” —Phew!

On that note, hug, kiss on the forehead, “I love you, Mom, good night!” and I skedaddled out of the fucking kitchen and into my room.

Maybe the same thing happened to the person who coined the phrase, “If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen” … too fucking hot in there.

When I got to my room, I took a shower and finally got to bed. I kept thinking that I should either come clean with Mom or stop putting myself in those situations. She is a lot sharper than I’d been giving her credit for all those years.

I was still a little disappointed that I did not get to ask Gabriel all the questions that I had from the meeting we went to that night. I wanted to know what all those people were talking about when they said things like sub, dom, slave, master, etc. I wanted to know if I was expected to be one, or more, or none of those things.

My initial thought was that I should do some research, and I tried, but the stuff that I found left much to be desired. Videos on YouTube were scarce at the time, and Google information was more porn than anything else—nothing like what I saw at the meeting. In fact, love was not even ever mentioned in the stuff I read, so I decided that this would have to be a conversation I should have with Gabriel.

I thought that writing these things down would help… then it hit me, THAT’S WHY HE GAVE ME THAT JOURNAL!!

Fuck! He does think of everything!!
I had the journal, but I really had not been doing much of anything with it. I had been too busy being jealous, sad, and… happy. And perhaps I’d been spending some time having some amazing orgasms too.

I kind of wished I had someone to talk to about all this, but nooooo, Red had to be a loner, and my online friends were probably pissed because I disappeared on them.

Maybe I could talk with Chrissie about it… She might have some pointers about talking to my mom about Gabriel as well… after all, she went through the same thing.

Oh yeah! I remembered I was supposed to see the jiggly bitch the next day!

I was a little nervous about the whole martial arts thing. I had no idea how that was going to go, but I was more nervous about spending time alone with her. What if she could somehow read the whole lip gloss thing? What if that’s why she did it? What if I am just twisted and somehow managed to get excited about an innocent prank?

I tried to shift my mind to something else, like the sweetness of Gabriel giving me his credit card so I could pay for dinner. I wondered if he would do the same for me, meaning asking Chrissie to take me to my favorite restaurant. Surely, he would… My boyfriend is sweet like that.

HA! If he does, maybe I’ll let him do that stuff to my lips.

“RED, STOP! Think innocent thoughts, like martial arts class and dinner with Chrissie!” said a voice in my head.

Eventually, I fell asleep.
Since Gabriel started giving me orgasms, which were a very welcome gift, my sleeping problems went away.
I used to lie in bed, get on my phone, masturbate one or two times before I could actually go to sleep. However, after Gabriel came to the picture, I’d go to sleep easily, and that night, with the vibrating bliss of the toy, it was extra easy. I kind of wished that Gabriel had let me bring the toy home, but then I might be up all night.

The next morning was a good morning, and while my desire to have a “Gabriel, use me” session was there, I had decided to save it for him and let his words unleash it. It’s not like I was lacking that in my life anymore.
I looked at my phone to see if he had sent me a message, and sure enough, there were two texts. One was from Gabriel saying, “Good morning, beautiful. I hope you have a great day. Have a wonderful time with Chrissie and remember not to eat anything past 7.”

I replied, “Good morning, Sir, have a great day! I will make sure I take care of Chrissie and not eat after 7, and I will be missing you all day. 💋💋💋” I figured that if I threw some lips into the text, he would get the hint and say something… exciting?
I know this sounds like I was calm, cool, and collected, but while I was sending the text, I was a nervous wreck!

The second text was from Chrissie, and it said, “Good morning, beautiful woman! I hope you have an amazing day! And remember, today you’re mine! 😊😉💕”

WTF Chrissie!!! Was she REALLY flirting? Or was she just talking about spending time together alone? The lip gloss thought rushed through my mind, causing my heart to start pounding.

I decided that it was just my mind getting away from me and I should just be as unambiguous, but sensitive, as possible.
I replied, “Good morning, pretty girl! I am nervous but looking forward to class. Can we have dinner afterwards? Please tell me where and what time I should pick you up.”

Chrissie, of course, replied right away, saying, “Dinner? A woman after my own little heart! Pick me up from my job at 2:30! Smooches! 😘😘”

Ah fuck! I need to get better at this.

Not knowing what to wear, I decided to wear some spandex and a somewhat tight T-shirt. Remembering what Chrissie wore the first time I met her, I figured the safest bet would be to copy her outfit as much as possible, but the shirt was not that tight—I have some class!

At 2:30, I was in front of the building where she worked, nervous as I could be, but I had already told her, and Gabriel, that I would do this. In this family, we do what we say we’re going to do!

Fucking Ulysses agreements.

After a few minutes, I saw her outside, looking for me. I felt a little dumb; I forgot that she did not know what my car looked like. So, I sent her a text letting her know where I was parked and what color my car was. She looked at her phone, saw me, and started jiggling in my direction.

to be continued...