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Part 43

He smiled and said, “If that’s the price I have to pay to have you in my backseat and play with your amazing breasts, I will gladly pay it.”

I blushed, saying, “Gabriel, I am shyyyyyyy!”

He smiled and said, “I love it when you blush, it’s adorable.”

For a while I had been wondering about the whole “Sir” thing. I did not have a problem with saying it, I really didn’t… I liked it, but I wanted to know, WHY.
Considering everything I was feeling, if he wanted me to call him “Mr. President Batman, Lord of the Hobbits”, I would’ve.
I figured that would be a good time to ask. I perked up, fixed my bra and jeans, adjusted myself, but stayed on his lap, cause that’s where I wanted to be and asked “Sir, can I ask why you like to be called ‘Sir’? I don’t have a problem with it, but I am cuuuu-riiii-ous!”

His eyes got big, and a big smile came to his face as he said, “Well, look who joined the party! I love it when this part of you comes out to play!” I giggled and quickly said, “Me too, but be careful, I can be a handful. Tell me… pleeeeeease!”

He smiled and said, “Ok, before I do that, let’s do this… Now, this is a one-time deal, and I expect you to understand that what you’re about to do is not acceptable and I will not tolerate it, ok?”

Holy shit! What was he about to ask me to do?
I was a little concerned, but I've obviously always been more curious than cautious, so I played along and said, “Deal”.

He said very clearly and slowly, “I want you to pay very close attention to how you feel inside when you say this, I will explain after. Ok?” I hesitantly said, “Yes, Sir.”
Then he repeated, “Make sure you pay close attention to how you feel when you say this, ready?” I nodded and he said, “Now, say, ‘Fuck you, Gabriel’.”
Wait, what?
I said, “I am not going to say that, Gabriel!” and replied, “Red, trust me, pay attention to how you feel, and say it.” I hesitated and sheepishly said it. He said, “No, say it like you mean it.” After some back and forth, I finally said it to his satisfaction.
He then said, “Good, now, say ‘Fuck you, Sir’, same thing, pay attention.” I said, “Fuck you, Sir!”
Then he said, “Did you notice the difference on how you felt when you said it both times?”
I had felt the difference; the first time, it felt like something had broken, almost like a boundary had been crossed.
The second time I said it, I felt like there was something that prevented that same boundary to be crossed.
It was weird!

I explained what I felt to him; He smiled and said, “So, while you may think the whole ‘Sir’ thing is about me, it really isn’t.
It is about respect and by using the word ‘Sir’ from the start, the tone and foundation of our relationship has been set.

The thing about respect in relationships is that it can be compromised quickly and accidentally, and once it is gone, it is almost impossible to get it back to where it needs to be.
And even if it was not hard to get it back, why break it?

Personally, I will not be part of any relationship where respect was not held in the highest regards.

Respect can also be slowly compromised, a little joke here, another jab there, next thing you know, we would be insulting one another on a regular basis, and that’s a slippery slope.

So, I can wait for it to be compromised accidentally and quickly, or I can wait for it to be slowly chipped off; The third option is to actively safeguard it.
I prefer to preserve it to ensure that it is always present in our relationship.

Does that make sense to you, or should I continue?”

Wow! Mind, blown.
Where does he get all this stuff?

I said, “It makes perfect sense, Sir.
Thank you for explaining it to me.
But rest assured, I would never say anything like that to you.”

He responded, “That may be true, and I don’t doubt you for one second… but it is true in your current mental and emotional state.
We don’t know how you will react when your mental or emotional states are altered, at least I don’t know.

So, I would rather be safe and try to avoid any possible problems.

If we practice respect constantly, it will slowly get internalized and become part of us, to the point that it won’t even be a thought, ever.”

I just said, “I understand, Sir.” I was in awe of the amount of thought he put into everything, even little details that I was not paying attention to. This was something I really liked and didn’t even know existed… But I was still curious about one thing, so I asked, “But isn’t respect subjective? I mean what is disrespectful to you, may not be to another person, right?”

His face lit up with a big smile while he said “mmm mmm mmm… I just love that mind of yours, can I hump your brain for a little bit?” and let out a laugh while I just sat there wondering what the hell that was supposed to mean.
I mean, he could hump anything and I would let him, but how would that even work?

Nevertheless, he continued “You’re absolutely right, respect could be subjective and you could accidentally be disrespectful to someone.
I have found that as long as you are always mindfully respectful, think about what, and how, you say things before you say them, you can avoid a lot of problems… However, I understand that you can’t always avoid it, but if you build a reputation for being thoughtful and respectful, you can make a mistake from time to time and it will be forgiven.

And then, there are people who are looking for ways to feel disrespected.
You can say something like ‘I love how I look today’ and they will interpret that as ‘You don’t look as good as me’.
But that’s just how some people live their lives, and you can’t do anything about that, it’s part of their programming.”

Holy shit! Programing, as in mind control and the Illuminati? Now we’re speaking my language! I had seen endless amounts of videos and read a few books, but I never thought he would!
I don’t know if the topics were as interesting as I thought they were, it might’ve just been me crushing on my boyfriend… but he had me jumping from one question to another and I was loving it!

I was not ready to fully geek out about the whole Illuminati thing just yet, so I cautiously asked, “What do you mean by ‘Programing’?”
To my surprise, and disappointment, he said, “Well, people’s reactions can often be shaped by their experiences, expectations, or insecurities, but it is just part of basic human behavior.

For example, when I was younger, I had a shitty attitude, felt a lot of anger, even acted like the world owed me something, and I confronted everything that came my way with that attitude and anger.
I carried myself pretending to be a tough guy, because that is what I felt I needed to be, but it was just my programing.

We can say it was my environment, my upbringing, my situation, my insecurities, survival mode, defense mechanisms, anything.
We can blame it on anything we want, but that was my programing, or conditioning if you will.

So that’s what I mean by programing.”

Well, that took an unexpected turn, quickly… but I was fascinated nonetheless.
It was difficult to imagine a Gabriel with an attitude, or a tough guy… I just couldn’t see it.
I’ve seen “tough guys” before, nothing like him.

I laughingly said, “No way, I can’t see you as a tough guy!” He smiled said “I didn’t say I was, I said I acted like one.” – He continued – “Anyway, that’s what I meant by programing.
But before I forget, remember, that what I asked you to say earlier was a one-time thing, and I expect this to be the last time you say something like that to me. I will not tolerate it.
Is that unequivocally understood?”
I said, “Yes, Sir!” and then asked, “Can I kiss you now? Cause I want to kiss you.” And he said, “Of course beautiful, just don’t put your butt in my hand again because you know what happens.” My jaw dropped, I blushed, and I was suddenly reminded that my butt was still tingly! The audacity of my Sir!
As I was struggling to close my mouth and in shock, he just kissed me and I forgot all about the shock and well, everything else.

As we kissed, I slowly started to notice that I was grinding on him again. I could feel his erection pressing against me. My body wanted to lose itself in the moment, to sink into the heat between us again. But as much as I wanted to go back into full make out mode, a thought crept in, pulling me out of the haze.

Why didn’t he put his fingers inside me? He was right there and didn’t do it.

Not complaining—life was good when it came to my orgasms, which apparently belong to him now—but I don’t know why, I craved him being inside of me, even if it was just his fingers.
Was there something wrong with me that made him not want to do it?
Do I smell or something?
That’s the first thing Eric wanted to do, and he could not get there fast enough, to the point where I had to ask him to stop because it was hurting… but no, not Mr. Gabriel, his delicate, manicured hands were too good for me.

Ahhh Fuck… moment, gone.
If I had a dick, it’d be a wet noodle by now.

I broke the kiss and said, “Gabriel, can I ask you a question? It’s not a big deal, I am just curious.” See? I can bluff!
He said, “Of course you can, beautiful, but you know the drill… look in my eyes when you do.”

Oh, for fucks sake! This would be so much easier through messages, but knowing him, he’d ask me to send him a video.

Alright, I can do this. I took an enormous breath, looked in his eyes and said, “When we were doing stuff earlier, you were going to you know… use your fingers, you know… inside.
But it felt like you changed your mind, the same thing happened yesterday at the park.
I just want to know why… is there something wrong with me?
You can tell me, I won’t get mad.”

to be continued...