Every night, literally EVERY NIGHT it’s the same blush. I wonder how many batteries my little one already used.

My little one… that sounds somewhat inappropriate now. Not so little anymore, if you think about it.

She always waits until after midnight. She thinks I am sleeping, but I don’t. I am tempted to talk to her and just tell her that she doesn’t have to wait. Gosh, how awkward that would be…

As a woman I am understanding, as a mother I am overwhelmed. I don’t know what to do. And it sometimes gets worse.

Yesterday night I was holding my own vibrator in my hands, listening to my daughter's little moans and to her vibrator. I know this was not the right thing to do. Before I understood why it happened, I had turned it on and slid it down there. I cover my mouth to stop myself from moaning.

I don't know what happened to me, maybe I just miss doing it while hearing different moans aside from my own. It’s awkward to kiss my daughter goodbye when she leaves for school in the morning. I do really love her and I would never do anything that harms her.

But thinking about it again makes me want to do it again while listening to her. Do I need help?