When I was 20, I worked in a bar. One night I was closing up the front and one of the back of house guys was having a drink trying to chat to me while I was cleaning up. He wasn't very good at English so it was quite hard to have a conversation with him but I tried as he was being friendly.

He asked to have a drink with him and offered me one. I had a long shift so I said yes. I poured my drink, put it on the counter and went out back to lock the register away. We tried to have a bit more of a conversation and he was asking me to go home with him. I felt uncomfortable and told him I wasn't interested, but he kept asking.

I finished my drink and somehow felt really tipsy, more than I would normally. He offered to walk me out to get a cab since I felt a bit off and I said okay but that I was going home alone. He agreed.

As we walked out the back door I was getting worse and he pulled me back behind the bins. He kissed me, I tried to say no but somehow I couldn't. He put his hands down my pants and started fingerings me, I didn't want it but I couldn't stop him. He then turned me around and pulled my pants down, pushed me up against the rails near the back door and bent me over them. Then I felt him ram his cock inside of me, I wanted him to stop, I wanted to scream but I couldn't. Then I started to feel good and I was so disgusted with myself for feeling pleasure in this moment.

When he was done he walked me to a cab and sent me home. I didn't really remember what happened exactly the next day but it came back to me over the next 3 days. I suspect he must have drugged me that night.

I spent years thinking it was okay and that I actually liked it, I masturbatory to it many times but I think I did it to deal with it.