Question above. The old boyfriend is someone who I am Facebook friends with but had not talked with or seen for 25 years. He recently FB mentioned me. I mentioned to him that he was the first boy who I kissed or did anything with. I asked him if he remembered our first kiss. He said yes, and he also remembered some old make out spots. Haha! So, we ended up discussing the first kiss. We discussed some other things, but not in great detail. Like how we were horney teenagers and I said all that I remember doing was driving around looking for make out spots and fooling around. He mentioned one time and how it was fun and hot.

He said that it was fun to talk about the times we had but that he didn't want to go overboard and go into too many details because that would not be fair to my husband. He said that he remembered "A LOT". I said, I was also hesitant to go into too many details as well because of that. I then told my husband about the conversation because we are open and honest with each other. He seemed totally fine with it. So I told the ex- boyfriend that my husband did not have a problem with us talking. He said "great"! He seemed to really want to talk about it.

I was really curious to know the "A LOT" that he remembered. I thought that he might remember things I did not, since he said that he remembered going to the movies. Or being at the movies, that is, but not watching it. 🤣 I don't remember this. I vaguely remember being at the movies, maybe? Not sure. But I don't remember anything else about it. I also am curious about his experience, and what his thoughts and feelings were. We never talked about it when we dating. Also, I never got the opportunity to tell anyone about my first kiss or first experiences. I was a really shy kid and I didn't have any friends at the time. I remember after my first kiss I was really excited about it and really wanted to talk about it. I remember being really sad b/c I had no friends to share it with. Maybe I just wanted to relive the past and reminisce.

But I was concerned that he would get the wrong idea and want to have an affair with me if we talked about it. I had the feeling he was still attracted to me and he is single. Or that maybe he would get all horny on me and send me dick pics or something. I don't trust a lot of people and I can't say that I know him that well, seeing as we had not talked for 25 years. I am no longer attracted to the guy. He looked better back in the day. But I will admit that talking and thinking about my first hot sex was turning me on.

So I made clear that I love my husband and would never cheat on him. I said that I was really curious to hear what he remembered and hear about his experience, though. I maybe a little to forcefully emphasized that I would talk with him as long as he understood that it was going no farther b/c I am happily married and he would not try to have sex with me. He was like, "wooo, slow down, I am not one of those guys.". So then he said he would go get a coffee and pull up the past and talk with me later that night.

I really wanted to talk about our past, but I was worried about overstepping some sort of boundary. I didn't know if it would get weird or if I would feel like I was cheating, even though my husband said he was fine with it. So I felt somewhat conflicted. But the suspense and curiosity was getting to me. So when I did not hear back from him, I asked him the next day what is the "A LOT" that he remembers. I said that it was okay if he told me the details and I would tell him what I remembered. Then he texted me back and said that he does not feel comfortable but that it was great to chat with me. I didn't push it and I definitely won't pursue trying to talk with him about it because I don't want to violate any boundaries. But I was kind of frustrated because he told me he remembered all this stuff and then he didn't tell me what it is and I really wanted to know. I don't know if said anything wrong. I wonder why he changed his mind?

So, I am just wanting to know if it is bad or wrong that I wanted to talk with this guy about our past sex life. If he had been comfortable would this have been okay to talk about because my husband was okay with it. Or would it have been a grey area and unethical? My husband said I seemed to want to talk about it and he trys to give me freedom, as long as it is not an affair or anything and he hopes that I give him the same freedom. I tried to imagine the situation reversed and if the first girl my husband kissed and fooled around with messaged him and he wanted to talk with her about it and how I would feel. It is hard for me to put myself in this hypothetical reverse situation though. I just never had this situation and I mostly was just really curious and wanted to reminisce. Talking about it felt nostalgic. Thoughts?