I see not just in this sub but others questions that often get responded to with ‘you have to communicate.’ Now, that’s a no-brainer but why is it that after many of us have been married for > 10 years, it’s so common that talking about sex, kinks, etc. is such a fearful topic? Some find it easy (we actually do), some it seems it’s a ‘if I bring it up, she/he will leave.’ Why is this? I know people are vastly different.

Edit: I am seeing a pattern in responses. It feels that we say ‘have to communicate’ often but that’s not what is always the case (via people saying doing so causes issues). Plus, it’s interesting that after being married a long time, many couples are fearful of being judged by the other regarding a kink, etc.

Have we over-used the phrase/concept of ‘you have to communicate’ while not being clear about what?