I've (30f) always thought of myself as a switch in bed, but with my partner of 8 years, through some osmosis, I've become the top. Without a doubt, I am the boss in the bedroom.

I usually initiate, tell him what to do, lead the dirty talk and foreplay, dictate positions, etc. Start to finish, I'm in control of 90% of it.

It's satisfying, don't get me wrong. I love doing whatever I want to him and getting whatever I want in return. I like making him my bitch. But it strikes me as highly unusual for a hetero couple to organically fall into this dynamic. Neither of us set out to be in the role we've found ourselves in, it just happened.

An interesting side effect of this- since my fantasies are generally either monogamous or abstract, I've found myself not enjoying fantasies that really used to get me going about being used or taken advantage of. They're the other way around now- of me using or taking advantage of him. Thoughts of objectifying, lightly humiliating or using him for my own pleasure are what get me off nowadays.

In your experience, are female dominant sexual dynamics in couples as uncommon as they are portrayed by 'society', or are they more common?