Hi,

I’m sorry to post this but I’m going through a lot of turmoil right now.

My fiancée split up with me recently because I lied about taking tablets for my premature ejaculation as well as another event not relevant to this topic. This possibly lead to her being pounded for 20 minutes, me not even cumming and her ending up with a UTI. To say I regret all of this is an extreme understatement. I told her after about 2 weeks of taking them in our total together (long distance) and that doesn’t make it better.

The fact is, I lied to her. I was open about the PE. When I took the first one, I didn’t consult her. Then I was going to mention after sex because it worked wonders but then she complimented me on my performance and made a comment about no PE around here, and I shut down and felt very self conscious. In that split second I froze and couldn’t say. And I avoided it since.

This is reflective of my handling of things and not handling insecurity well, at all.

While I’m working on things in general, it’s hard enough to mention you suffer from PE, and I’m wondering when the best time to mention medication is?

When I met her, I didn’t tell her about my PE until about a month in - before we met physically, but even that felt bad because it felt as though I lied to her about who I was. I mentioned tablets before and we said we’d cross that together down the line if we decide it’s needed. We didn’t decide. I decided. Of course I’d do it all differently now that she’s gone.

But when should I bring up tablets? When should I really disclose about PE in a relationship? How should I do it? I refused my (*now :( *) ex a say and I shouldn’t have because she was so supportive. An absolutely incredible woman and I fucked it up.

I’m terrified at the thought of ever putting myself out there again because I’m so scared of going through the PE talk. Not that I’m ready for that now but I’ve lost her and if I ever find someone again, I want to avoid the same fate.

How should I handle this?

TL;DR: Seeking advice on how and when to bring up premature ejaculation and use of tablets that help