I just learned about core erotic themes (CET). I feel like this will be a very useful thing to know and to teach my SO if i can ever figure out what mine is.

If you don't know what core erotic themes are, they are the core feelings we're hoping to experience when we have sex. Apparently this is fairly constant throughout life for each individual. Maybe you want to feel powerful, cared for, dominated, admired, worshiped, etc. You can usually pinpoint what these feelings are by identifying common themes in your sexual fantasies.

They can be extremely helpful to know because if you know what your partner's CET is then you can adapt your actions and words to specifically get them turned on in the way they crave being turned on the most and they can do the same to you.

I first learned about Core Erotic Themes on the "Shameless sex" podcast (episode 2 towards the end). Afterwards I was so interested that I read Jack Morin's book "The Erotic Mind". I talked with my SO about it and we identified hers pretty quickly. She likes to feel like she is adored and worshiped. So one of her biggest fantasies is if I were to get so turned that I can't help myself and lose control and just take her. I'm still trying to think of creative ways to exploit this for maximum pleasure for her :)

Mine is tougher because weirdly even though I'm a VERY sexual person I don't have a lot of fantasies. I kind of have an idea of what mine is, but I'm not sure that its not a scenario rather than a CET.

I love watching my SO cum. When were were talking about it she said "OK, so you enjoy feeling like you're great at sex; like you are extremely skilled at giving pleasure". Fair enough I suppose, who doesn't. But I'm not sure that's really it. Because I think I would also be pleased if she touched herself or if another woman touched her. I suppose I'd enjoy it most if I was the one touching her so maybe my SO was right all along, but the fact that I'd also enjoy her pleasure when it wasn't me giving it makes me feel like that's not trally it. The more filled with lust she gets, the more turned on I get. But that's not really a feeling for me. It's a feeling for her that turns me on. So I'm not sure how to interpret this info. Has anyone taken a class on this or have any additional insights?

Thanks!!