Well, here I am. I am in my 40 and have been with someone for almost 13 years. Married 11. We have 3 kids. At the start, things were great, but after the last kid, she didnt want any. I had conversations with her about it but it made her cry. I try to initiate but she always rebuffs my attempts. About the only time we have sex is if she is asleep and subconsciously touch her. I try to get frisky with her and she move me away. I notice that I am the only one that is always hugging or holding her or going for the kiss first. She never does. I know my love language is touch and affection. Sex include. For her its family time. I tried to do that, but it always seems like I give and get nothing.

She told me before that I had bad breath that is why she wasnt kissing me. So, I set out to fix it. I noticed that my diet was the problem and was able to fix it. But still nothing. She says that her body doesnt feel the same after our 3rd kid and that she doesnt like that she is fat. I dont care. I love her curves. I know that is something I cant fix. She says she is going to lose wieght but nothing happens. I stopped caring and trying for sex because I dont want to be the person that forces her to do something she doesnt want too.

I thought about just cheating and having sex with other women (just sex, no emotions), but I dont even know where to start with that. I'd fail at that too. I think it is for lack of trying. We havent tried counselling but I think that wont work. My fear is that we will realize that we arent meant to be together. A painful thought is that if she were with another man after me, she would give that man the love and attention that I wanted. That would hurt. Almost want to cry thinking about it. I dont know anymore. Feels like all I have left is porn and old fantasy/memories. Maybe I am the problem.