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Yes, I am way too old for this crap. But I have gotten in the horrible habit the past couple years of starting out by searching for posts that validate unchangeable things about my body and more stuff related to sexual insecurities... only to inevitably pivot to post after post supporting and echoing my worst fears. I'm keeping it vague not only because I think a lot of people can relate on a more general level, but the primary issue is talked to death already and I'm ashamed I'm even giving it any thought in the first place. If you feel like you can only give input with specifics, feel free to reach out directly, but please don't be harsh if the topic I struggle with most frustrates you as soon as you hear it. I'm having a sincerely, really hard time.
Do you have any tips for when you feel yourself about to slip into a bad, toxic habit that's linked with the sexual part of your brain? In my case, it isn't pleasure seeing behavior, but maybe people who are trying to avoid toxic habits along those lines have input too. Yes, I'm in therapy. But I'm considering any and all methods of trying to break the cycles. Thank you.
Hey mate. So, you’re doing the work already, it just takes time. Therapy and mindfulness are your ticket to stop doing what you’re doing, but it takes time and practice to rewrite habits or change a mindset, you know? We all have aspects of ourselves that we don’t enjoy. We all do things we shouldn’t to boost insecurities now and then and I’m sure just about everyone wishes they could change something about themselves sexually. It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling. I’m proud of you for taking the steps. Tbh, I’d put a rubber band on your wrist and snap it when you get that urge. Other then that, daily journal, continue therapy, keep moving forward. Lastly, and obviously, if you don’t like an aspect of yourself, try to adapt to it. As in if you have a premature ejaculation issue or a small penis or something similar, get deep into foreplay and knowledge on how to please without your penis to make up for that ect. Work on you, in the ways that you can.
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First off, fucking good on you for opening up mate. Kudos, seriously. You’re right though. You’re 100% right. Like minded people who have a platform. And honestly, remember, trolls exist. People say shit just to hurt others. People pretend they’re women when they’re not ect. It’s not black and white. Your responsibility to yourself, is to avoid that. Which, I get, we do things we shouldn’t and we as humans get our ego hung up in ways we shouldn’t. That takes work, and again, you’re doing the work. You NEED to remind yourself consistently that everybody is different. Yes there are absokurely size queens out there, but equally so are those who prefer and enjoy average or smaller for their own reasons. It’s by in large MEN who care about size, for ego purposes because porn sets an unrealistic and bad example. And of course, as a paramedic who’s fluent in anatomy and physiology, and a human who loves sex, the penis is not the most important part of sex. Foreplay sets the tone for all of it, your personality as a partner, if you’re giving ect, makes the most difference. There are soooo many things outside of PIV that can make sex exciting and so many things you can do to enhance sex in general, ya know??