Hey Reddit,

I (23M) have been dating my girlfriend (26F) for three months, and overall, things are great. However, there’s one issue that’s really been weighing on me—I haven’t been able to get her over the finish line even once.

Last weekend, she made a passing comment: “I’m jealous you’re always the one that gets to have an orgasm.” That really stuck with me, so we had a conversation about it. She told me, “Oh, I can cum just fine, but when you go down on me or use your fingers, I just don’t feel anything.”

Hearing that hit me hard. It made me feel inadequate, like I’m failing at something really important in our relationship. I’ve been trying—watching tutorials, experimenting with different techniques and positions, making sure she’s comfortable, and keeping communication open by having her guide me step by step. But despite all that, nothing seems to be working.

I really care about her and see a future together, so this isn’t just about pride—it’s about wanting her to enjoy our time together as much as I do. I don’t want her to feel like our sex life is one-sided, but honestly, my confidence has taken a huge hit.

So, what am I doing wrong? How can I improve—not just for her pleasure, but also to rebuild my confidence in the bedroom? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.