This post has been de-listed
It is no longer included in search results and normal feeds (front page, hot posts, subreddit posts, etc). It remains visible only via the author's post history.
I (31m) have been married to my wife (31f) for five years.
One thing that’s come up for me in the past few years is a find lingerie very arousing and am bored of sex which is the same two positions quickly in bed.
I want more to our sex life and really want to be able to explore why I am so turned on by lingerie but my wife just has no interest.
Another real turn on for me is her wearing like thong bikinis or revealing sexy outfits when out. It’s so sexy and it just seems to add spice to the mundane day to day it makes life still feel a bit interesting. I will say I can read a room and I know there’s a time and a place for everything and this is unreasonable to expect 70 percent of the time but I feel like once in awhile it’s okay.
I’ve never really understood myself sexually and I guess as I age I’ve discovered these fetishes? I feel like in a monogamous relationship it should be okay to talk about this and try to find a way to explore together where we are both comfortable but for my wife she says she just to busy and uninterested.
I’m feeling like I’m a weirdo and overly demanding but sometimes when I sit and think I feel like sexuality is normal and relationships are about coming together and I was just hoping for some feedback or experience with this
Thanks
Hey mate. So first things first, your emotions are valid. Your desires are valid. Life and love is about working together, exploring together and compromise. One of the most exciting parts about being human, and especially about being in love as a human, is exploring and expressing sexuality. But. Humans have an amazing gift of prioritizing things over sex when a situation becomes repetitive such as when in a relationship. It loses its novelty and it takes work from both parties to keep a healthy sex life. Saying you’re too busy is a cop out. It’s valid as well, but learning to make time for it is important, especially when that something is helping your partner explore sex and sexuality. I’m 32, married for 4 years together for 7. Were both bi and both have a ton of kinks that were able to explore together, but that only happened after many many big talks about how important it is to do this together.
Subreddit
Post Details
- Posted
- 1 week ago
- Reddit URL
- View post on reddit.com
- External URL
- reddit.com/r/sexadvice/c...
I’m happy to have the ability to respond. I totally agree with your findings. It takes effort from both sides. Life happens though, and some points have stress that blinds one or both partners. It takes redirection and talks to get that back on track but it’s so immensely worth it to do so. To get those incredible moments of exploration together and to have those sessions you’ll never forget while the rest of the world melts away. Don’t stop putting in the effort: have some sit down talks and let her know how important it is to you 🫶