Hey there! Valid question. So I’m 6’0, 200lbs and about 8.5in hard & 6-6.5in around. My wife is 5’1, 105lbs and she lifts weights with me almost daily so on top of being small and petite, she’s strong and that muscle adds tightness, to which she already was pretty damn tight. I say this not to show off at all, but to say I understand. Our size difference and me being above average down there in length and thickness would be an issue, but proper foreplay solves that 90% of the time if not more. I spend 30-45 minutes on full body foreplay. The vagina is like an oven and needs to be pre-heated. I spend that foreplay time on her entire body. Every inch, and every single erogenous zone, usually with a sensual massage. That leads to fingering and oral or a toy and fingering, during which time I give her an orgasm, sometimes two. This properly promotes vaginal tenting, which is when the vagina gets sufficient blood flow that it dialates internally 2-3 inches to better accommodate a finger, toy or penis. The vagina should be very pink, very puffy and very lubricated, but even still, USE LUBE. Start with one finger, than two, then a toy, then a penis. Work up to it and communicate every step of the way. Sex shouldn’t be painful and if it is, go back to foreplay to work back up to it. If it’s painful after that, make a visit to the gyno to make sure everything is okay. Women can push 9lb babies from their vagina, they can handle a thick peen with relative ease if everything is warmed up. And being a gentleman who’s also above average, it’s his duty to properly warm you up and get you ready before penetration.