So tbh I have never done something like this, I just want to kind of see how the Reddit world is with advice, so I’m just gonna jump right in. I’m polyamorous/pansexual in a monogamous m/m relationship, with someone I love so much. Like I’m head over heels for this person, I have been for the last 2 years that we’ve been together. That in mind I feel like I should be content with just them, sexually, emotionally, etc. but that’s not how I feel sometimes. I find myself at the gym checking out all the hot people around me when I’m working out, I find myself always looking at nudes and videos on X, Reddit, OF and even just porn sites. I don’t even do anything to get off, I just want to look. I feel like I’m constantly on this fine line of telling myself I need to stay devoted, and remain that way for them because it is the right thing, and then on the other hand I think about what I would be like to do stuff with those other people, and how far I’d let it go if something happened, or if I’d even been able to stop it. I don’t know I’ve been wanting to get this off my chest for a while, because I don’t know what it means that I think like this. I absolutely want to stay loyal 100% and will do my absolute best to never cheat. But I also want to understand why I have these thoughts and feel this way. I feel mostly satisfied sexually with them, we have no real relationship issues, we don’t fight hardly ever, so idk. All signs point to it being a very healthy relationship, but I’m worried I’ll be the one to poison it, or ruin it by overthinking. Like am I addicted to sex or something? Idk

Again, I’m not trying to cheat or betray my partner, I love them and don’t want to hurt them. I just want to know what I need to do to get my head in the right mindset. If I’m really just toxic and need to get myself figured out.

Other info if it helps, I’m 27 and they are 24

Thanks for your time, I appreciate any advice given to just help me grow as a person.