So she’s nervous. And you have to respect that. The anxiety of being seen naked, and the fact that as a woman you get penetrated is scary. Especially if you’re both new at it. So first things first, slow down. Have some actual talks about it, and about what you want (what SHE wants) to experience out of it. Make sure she’s okay with everything. Next up, absokurely do NOT penetrate her with your penis if you haven’t even gotten a finger in. Part of sex for women is called vaginal tenting. This is the process of a woman getting turned on. It stimulates blood flow and it becomes pink, puffy and lubricated. It also internally dialates the vagina by 2-3 inches to better accommodate a finger, toy or penis. This is key for women. If you don’t warm her up enough, it can hurt her or give her a tear. I spend 30-45 minutes on FULL BODY foreplay for my wife. Not just fingers and oral. But the fingering part is kind of important as it allows you to help dialate the vagina so it’s not painful when you enter with your penis. It seems like you both need to have some big talks and adjust the way you do things so everyone is as comfortable as possible. Also, don’t forget to trim your nails and wash your hands before fingering or touching her vagina. The vaginal walls are thin and vascular and can be cut with a fingernail easily, which can lead to bleeding and infection. Use lube. Use lube. It helps.