I 25m have been having issues with wife 26f sex drive. Some background we started seeing each other when we were 20, got married at 22 and here we are. Before our marriage and a couple months after my wife was always more freaky. She wasnt i to any specific lifestyles just all around more sexual and very open to fantasies i would bring up. Shes had a ffm threesome and would dress alot more promiscuous, she enjoyed talking about sex as well. She was alot more vocal during sex, more touchy and freaky, was always wet and came and squirted like crazy. I felt as if i was married to a porn star.

Now the past 2 years her sex drive really declined. She would not ever ask or initiate sex. It became less frequent and she became less passionate during sex or intimacy. I know she loves not having to chores since she is a clean freak and would go crazy is something had to be done. So i started to do more for her trying to give her little to no chores for her to do, before i get yelled at i didnt do it to have more sex but saw this fast decline as a problem like i wasnt doing something right. Nothing changed from any of that and she still has no sex drive or fantasies almost as if the thought disgust her. (Yes i understand sex in relationships dies down after a while and im perfectly aware and fine with that. My issues is its like it gone gone, were in our 20s i thought this was the time to experiment things and figure eachother out sexually through fantasies and talking about it.

Now onto me, i have always been a very freaky/open sexually person. I can talk about it infront of whoever, i done put up with the stigma that “sexual deviancy” is bad. I have a huge fantasy about sharing my wife, it all started when i first had a dream of it a year ago, since then its taken over what i think about during sex. I am in no way wanting to open our relationship or bring another woman in. Simply just another male to use as a sex toy powered by a heart.

I have never openly expressed this fantasy of mine to my wife but i have hinted at it. We first watched porn together and she said “lemme guess a threesome with two girls” assuming the most popular male fantasy. I said “close” and put on mfm porn which she seemed slightly shocked put didnt press further and we watched masturbating together and she came quick like too quick for me to go further with her. I then brought a dildo to use on her while she gave me head. I didnt look at the dildo box when i bought it thinking it would be around my size. Nope, this was a solid 9” and girthy. Using it she was scared at first but once loosened up she loved it and heard her moan like she use to when we were first together, she even came from it which hadnt happened from me(im not small at all im 7.5Lx5.5G) I saw a sluttier side coming back out. We did use the dildo and watch mfm a couple mores times. Then it kind just went away one day she showed disinterest and i didnt press again.(too embarrassed)

Recently sex has not been frequent whatsoever, and we dont do anything special(like one or two positions) she also acts as if shes doing me a favor. so i obviously resort to pleasuring myself sometimes with porn, Re-igniting my fantasy and here we are. I would love to get back to dropping hints about the fantasy and ultimately talking to her about it, i feel as if i have a huge weight on my chest and want to talk to her so bad about it. The thing is i understand is hard to introduce the idea of a mfm fantasy especially if the person is never turned on. So what can i do to re-ignite her flame.

What would be good ways to introduce the idea slowly to maybe work her up on it. Should i take her to bars and encourage her to dance with other men, should i bring back the play with dildos in the bedroom she obviously really enjoyed and ignited something in her. Should i watch porn again with her again.

Side note: she isnt depressed or stressed our living situation/money and overall life is better then it ever has been and im constantly checking in on her mental health. I try to be the best husband for her and i do as much as possible working 65 hour work weeks. I take her on dates, buy her lingerie, not constantly pressing for my pleasure(often i offer her head with no reciprocating and 8/10 times she declines)