Hi. Married man, late 30s. Love my wife, we are very happy but sex has dwindled down to maybe once a fortnight. We both want it to improve but it doesn't happen. It's also always been very vanilla. We discuss sex but honestly - I am just too uncomfortable to ask for some of the things I want and I suspect she is too. Some examples: she was always more promiscuous than me and has often hinted that she feels guilty about seeing other people in our first few months; and sometimes comments that being married doesn't mean she stops finding other men attractuve. I suspect she slept with at least one other person while we are dating in the early days and honestly, that is fine with me. I'd actually be open to her having sex with some other people now if that is what she wants - obviously limited circumstances and I'd have to know about it etc, but we only get this life once and I want her to enjoy it. At my end: I'm pretty sexually repressed and really struggle to raise even basic things like watching porn together.

Obviously what we need is better dialogue and more open and honest conversations, but this has been going on for years and we never manage it. But to kick-start things I was thinking that it would be super helpful if there was a service that gave both of us an extensive questionnaire covering pretty much everything and establishing boundaries in as much detail as possible. The questions would be set so that each of us gets to express, in detail, what we want; and also what we'd be comfortable with our partner doing. E.g. "Would you like to have sex with other people? Are you comfortable with your partner having sex with other people?" And if you say "yes", you then have more questions to try to nail down the boundary (e.g. would we both need to be present; is advance consent/agreement required; must it be non-romantic; how many partners at a time etc). I'm not suggesting we are going to become wild swingers overnight - I am using this as an example because it's such an obvious one. And when it's done, the service compares the responses and tells each of us ONLY the things that are mutually acceptable. So I might find out she likes light BDSM; a few favourite role play ideas; that she's happy with me going to a strip club but no lapdances; that she wants to sleep with other women, or whatever. That way it's out in the open; we've done this without upsetting one another (e.g. if she says she's not happy for me to go to a strip club she doesn't need to know I wanted to); and we can hopefully move some of our (pretty tight) boundaries and enjoy a better sex life.

Does any such service exist? It feels like it must. THanks