Hi all,

-some background- My partner and I have been together almost 4 years, and I love her with a passion, but due to some personal psychological issues of hers, our bedroom is rather dead. We're both bisexual, and for the vast majority of our relationship there's been a semi-open policy in that homosexual extra-relationship sex was a-ok for us both. It's not something that either of us has particularly taken advantage of, I've been with another guy once while a bit drunk and my partner fooled around a bit with one of her friends, once too. She's said for a long time (even before we stopped having sex) that she doesn't mind me having sex with other girls too, as in a fully open relationship, but I'm still hesitant about her being with other guys (which she's fine with). The last time we had sex was valentines day, and I have to say it was pretty fantastic sex, but it was the first really good sex we'd had in ages.

-the issue-

I'm feeling a bit starved for physical attention, and have been really really craving sex for the last couple of months, I don't want to push it with her and she knows that I want more physical intimacy but it's something that she really struggles to give (even just hugs and kisses) so I make a huge effort not to be pushy about sex. She's suggested that I go out and try to pick up another girl or guy, and the idea definitely turns me on, but I find the practicality very different. I'm just plain scared of going out searching for casual sex, and have no idea where to start. Also, I struggle to be open at all with people I don't know, so frankly I feel like I'd have to at least befriend someone before having sex. What advice can /r/sex give me to help get past this stumbling block? How does one just go out and find sex? It doesn't help that I'm not particularly "hot", I have some definite nice features, but I'm a bit overweight and not always good at being confident. Any words of advice, tips or tricks to help me find someone to hook up with?

TL;DR - how does a guy in an OR go about finding casual hookups or a friend with benefits?

P.S. - We are both working on her mental health, and I feel sure that in time our bedroom will be revived, but I want to give her the space and time she needs.