I (37MtF) experience intense brain fog when aroused to the point of being almost helpless. It's like a shiver sweeps over my body and I briefly lose visual/mental focus. As I'm making out, this keeps happening over and over and I gradually lose the ability to verbalize coherently and become physically weak. The most troubling part though is when I get to the point of losing the ability to remember what I do and do not want to do and why. I'm scared when it happens around people I don't know because I can't clearly give or withdraw consent.

I sometimes have nightmares about the wrong person pushing me into this state, especially if I have been drinking and/or smoking, and sexually assaulting me. I do actually have trauma from a couple of incidents because I couldn't maintain my boundaries at the time and ended up doing stuff I didn't want to do. I don't feel like I was sexually assaulted, but still...I feel like I am fundamentally untrustworthy. To the point that I am afraid to go out anymore, even though I love to dance, unless I have a friend nearby that can make sure nothing happens.

I've searched on the internet for what it could be (because everyone I know says that they've never seen anyone react like that so quickly), but haven't been able to find anything. This started happening about 2-3 years after starting hormones. Has anyone else (cis or trans) had similar experiences?