So, I (22F) started dating someone (23M) about a month ago. I told him that I need more time to be comfortable having sex than might be the norm, and he said that's okay. However, when I slept over at his apartment, I started having really bad anxiety when things started progressing past making out. I told him I was feeling anxious, and he stopped immediately and held me while I calmed down.

That was a week ago, and I'm starting to feel the pressure to "get over it". Not anything he said or did - he's insanely respectful and patient - but I feel guilty, and I also am frustrated with myself because I want to be intimate with him, I just feel dread and fear when it starts happening. I've run this past my therapist and she wasn't helpful ("just try to relax" - yeah, right). I've asked him to ask first, and to get STI tested, thinking that would help me, and even though he's doing/did both, my anxiety isn't going away.

Anyone else experience this? Is this normal? I had a breakup a few months ago, and I also have been sexually assaulted by a past boyfriend (different boyfriends), so I'm wondering if that's contributing to it. I've also been diagnosed with Anxiety and cPTSD. Any tips for how to calm down and just try to enjoy myself?

TL;DR: I get anxiety whenever things start getting intimate with a man I otherwise really like and trust. I've scoured the internet and picked my therapist's brain, neither of which helped. I'm open to any and all advice because I'm frustrated with myself.