This post has been de-listed
It is no longer included in search results and normal feeds (front page, hot posts, subreddit posts, etc). It remains visible only via the author's post history.
So for a bit of a background:
we've (me F27, him M27) been together for 7years, I have always been the higher libido one, as in I've never turned him down for sex for the whole of our relationship (I never don't want sex, I either actively want it or am very responsive to it). Him turning me down happens most days, we even have a process where I'll ask if there is any chance he's feeling up for it before really initiating, helps to check up first so I don't get to invested or make myself hornier making rejection harder.
We started living together this january, our sex frequency has stayed about the same, but now since we see each other every day instead of 3x a week, so I guess the full reality of my libido is really hitting him and starting to bother. Most das I ask him if he wants sex/me to blow him/anything.
The issues:
He used to be fine with me masturbating by his side, the rare time he'd even get turned on and join me. Now recently he has made me cry more than once by saying it's fine for me to do it and just leaving the room abruptly, or asking things like: seriously you're doing this again?.
Lately I've noticed I feel guilty if I need to touch myself to sleep and go hide in the bathroom or just don't do it.
A while ago I tried initiating bf said no, later we went to our balcony to drink a beer, he caressed my bare thighs going up, I said he'd better stop bc I was getting horny again. He rudely said that's all I think about got up and left.
Today something similar again, he's on vacation, so free and staying in bed most of the day. This morning I went to cuddle him a bit and asked if he wanted quickie, he said no, ok wasn't fazed or expecting a positive answer. But I've been horny all day so when I got done with work I went looking for him, he was brushing his teeth, I opened up my robe and asked if he wanted some of this. He pretty much made a disgusted face and answered that no, this again? and walked off annoyed.
This is destroying me, I've been crying for a bit. I don't mind at all being told no, not now or whatever, it doesn't make me feel insecure. It's this acting disgusted/annoyed, like me even mentioning being horny will make him judge me, that's making me feel awful, I don't know maybe it's putting pressure on him having him see how much I want sex, lately even wanting to masturbate is making me feel like a creep.
IDK what to do. Does anyone has any insight from the lower libido side? What else can I do other than stopping initiating or asking to initiate?
I guess I just needed to vent, at least it got me to stop crying.
Subreddit
Post Details
- Posted
- 3 years ago
- Reddit URL
- View post on reddit.com
- External URL
- reddit.com/r/sex/comment...