Is my best friend (21m) into me? Help!

Is my “straight” bestfriend into me?

I am “straight”. I am in the closet. No one knows that I’m bi. I have had a long time girlfriend and that recently ended. My bestfriend/roommate is also straight. He had a long term girlfriend and talks about girls on Instagram, talks about straight porn, etc. he and his girlfriend ended almost 10 months ago.

One time a couple months ago, we had to share a bed for a guys trip long weekend. We both went out to bars, got super drunk. During the night he started touching my penis and my ass as I was asleep/drunk. I turned over to make sure it was him because I had never thought about him being bi/gay. This really threw me for a loop that night. He just touched me for a few minutes and that was the end of it.

A month later we got really drunk. I went to his bedroom, and pretended to pass out on his bed. During the night again he started touching me again. This time I touched back. I also sucked him. He sucked me. We also had sex. We were both really drunk.

This has happened a hand full of times over the past couple of months. ONLY WHEN WE’RE DRUNK. Sometimes if I go to his bed, he starts touching me, I will try to touch him and he will push me away.. what does that mean?

We do not acknowledge it when we’re sober. Not a word and I doubt he would because he thinks I’m blacked out and wouldn’t remember and I kind of think that too about him.

Sometimes when it has happened, I have a tried to kiss him, but he will not kiss back. He turns his head. But he has sucked me and let’s me suck him.

He is my bestfriend/roommate, but this has me going crazy. I have developed strong feelings for him now. But he has become distant to me. We still talk and snap and text but maybe not as often as before.

What do I do? I don’t want to stop this. What’s running through his mind? Is he into me? Does he know what he’s doing? He literally only talks about hot girls all the time.

HELP!