Person with disability hates being so horny

Hey all

I am not sure where I am going with this post, but I am person with a disability from southern CA who has been really horny for the past three months and am starting to hate myself for feeling this way. I really enjoy watching woman strip way more then sex , and even though I ‘m paying someone to get naked for me in two weeks, I am still scanning websites looking for escorts or hook up sites.

Due to my disability , wok and personality , expressing my needs to others is hard and often can be risky. However, I have been tempted to take those risks( I.E asking fiends to help me find women who will let me see them naked) and this scares me. I seem to get to to what I call the annoying horny stage every 4 months. Porn helps a little, but when I am in this stage it doesn’t work anymore.

Five years ago when these feelings came up I felt safe to reach out to friends and request what I needed. Back then I got a lot of greet feedback . However, I didn’t have to be as carful then with who to tell. Now I have a job and I’ in a smaller more conservative town and have much more to lose if I let my desires be known.

Any advice would be great from all guys get horny-it will pass to go to a strip club( their really pricy in my town) to just try your luck at a bar(I have a problem with my speech and it's hard to be understood in a loud place) I do try to get in relationships but sometimes it’s hard and I do have needs..

Sorry for my rambling and typos but I needed a place to try and understand my hornyness and see what my problem is, and why I am not content even though I should be.