So my partner of over a year (30F) is overall a very hygienic person. Always very clean, smells good, showers regularly, etc. She's got a slim waist and a very large butt, which I love. I'm not into much ass play, certainly not interested in anal sex or anything like that, but kinda want to maybe consider stuff like butt plugs or having my finger around her asshole while fingering her vagina. Or even just eating out her pussy from behind.

None of these things are things I'm interested in right now given what I've seen on her butt but things I would want to try if I knew she was totally clean down there.

She's latina and has fairly light skin but very dark skin around her vagina and asshole. Though sometimes I feel like it may be more than just dark skin. I find myself looking away and trying hard not to focus too much on the hole when we're having sex from behind. I'm really gross out by the idea that there could be some shit there. I haven't overtly seen it, but caught glances at what might be and just immediately looked away or switched positions.

So I'm wondering how I should talk to her about this. Frankly, I'm not remotely interested in any sort of ass-play unless I know she is freshly showered and has paid special attention to that area. Then maybe I can find out once and for all whether it truly is just dark skin or something else.

Am I being reasonable? I just really, really never want to see, smell, or touch fecal matter. I know we're all human and everyone poops, but I would require a thorough shower before considering venturing to that area.

One thing that kinda bothers me is she has a fixed, waterfall style shower head and cannot move it. My shower has a detachable shower head and hose and every time I take a shower I am sure to bring the shower head down and shoot water up my ass, kinda of like a high powered bidet, to make sure I am fully clean down there. I would really want her to do the same, however she cannot with her shower, which is disappointing to me since we mostly spend time at her place. Also I think it is kinda weird to prescribe this level of scrutiny to one's hygienic practice but it is how I feel.