I 32m have a higher labido than my partner 23f

To get this out of the way. I am hygienic, always smell good, am fit, respectful and overall a successful person. I value and appreciate my partner, and I express affirmations every day. Heck, my partner is essentially near worshipped, as she deserves.and for the most part, this energy is reciprocated. However...

I am wondering how to improve my communication, express my needs/wants, and also understand if they are reasonable feelings. I do my best to adhere to what I feel is fair and balanced in a relationship. I also do not like feeling like things are transactional. I do this for you, so you do this for me. That being said every relationship is based on some sort of balance of give and take.

On a more forward note, I get anxious if I feel like I am not meeting the standard I set for myself or if I am not providing or doing enough. For a bit of background information… I (32m) have been with my partner (23f) for roughly a year. We have been living together for 5-6 months now. We have what I feel is a very healthy relationship. We communicate, share our thoughts and feelings, never fight, and do our best to have balance in life and our relationship. In the short time we’ve been together we have overcome a lot and grown together in a beautiful and loving way.

Obviously, I could write for hours in all the ins and outs of the details, but I’ll get to the point. As common with a lot of relationships we have slowed down a little bit in regards to how often we have sex. I tend to have a little bit higher of a labido than she does. I’d say on average we have sex on average twice a week. Some weeks are a little more active, but average for discussion sake. Previously, in the earlier stages, it would be 2-3. So, it’s not like it’s a drastic change, but I am finding myself wanting more. I have expressed this to a degree, but I don’t feel like it’s being taken all that seriously. This is a challenging subject for me to talk about. If I were to guess it would partially be due to the fact my previous long term relationship was fairly inactive. Once or Twice a month was pretty common, if not less, and if I tried to bring things like this up it wasn’t received all that well. My current partner has always been very loving and sweet. She rarely turns down my advances, and does initiate things occasionally as well, but mostly it is a “hey, let's have sex”, and doesn't put much effort into seductive or flirtatious efforts. After it's expressed she's in the mood it's still on me to make the moves.

Now, my brain's first reaction is to go to a logical explanation searching for variables. I make sure to be spontaneous and compliment her regularly. I cook, clean, and make sure the home environment is happy, relaxing, and feels like home. I make sure to be supportive whenever she needs me emotionally, physically, and so forth. I’m not perfect by any means, but I do my best to be a good partner. When it comes to sexual needs I am obviously enthusiastic anytime she is in the mood, and I make sure she always orgasms before I do. More often than not I can get her to come multiple times. Without getting into all the specifics I enjoy pleasuring my partner and making sure it is a very enjoyable experience, especially being that she has expressed that hasn’t really been her experience in past relationships.

I think subconsciously I have also hit the age of 30, and am feeling a slight pressure to enjoy the time I have of being in shape, and having the labido/function that I have. I workout regularly, but worry that someday my body may not function as well. I want to enjoy being in my prime, and being that my previous relationship was very lacking in the sexual intimacy aspect I am wanting more. More spontaneous sex, more planned sex, etc. It also makes me feel extremely valued, wanted, and desired. Also, from the fact that my previous relationship was lacking in intimacy I turned to masturbation and porn. Regularly. And that is not something I quit when we got together as I feel it’s disrespectful to your partner. That being said, it’s been a challenge reducing how often I orgasm, and after a few days it starts to affect me mentally. Obviously, I do still partake in solo activities, but not as often. (To clarify, this is not a problem of my partner, as it isn’t their responsibility to be my sexual release, but I have needs and I want to find a balance that is respectful and loving to our relationship.)

Being that this is a sensitive subject, how can I express to my partner about my needs without it feeling like a bad thing? We’ve talked a little bit about it and she has been very welcoming of these talks, it has been established that I have a higher labido, but I’ve more casually brought up some of my fantasies of things she could do (also always with the invite that if she ever has anything in mind that I can do for her). She often responds with “Its different for you. You get turned on randomly, where as I take a bit to warm up. Which, I understand, women are different, and I am always down to flirt, foreplay, talk dirty, praise, and so forth.

At the end of the day I am absolutely in love with my partner. She is an incredible person, and I am so unequivocally attracted to her. Emotionally, mentally, and physically. I just need to improve how I communicate and place a little more emphasis as to what it means to me for us to be intimate, and for her to take more initiative sometimes. However, any suggestions/advice here, books to reference, etc, would be great.

Also, am I being reasonable? I know 1-2 times a week is a great number, and if she were to express to me that she just doesn't want it that much I would respect that, but I don't feel that's the case. The sex we do have is incredible. I just want more.

TLDR: I (32m) want to communicate to my partner (23f) that I would like to have sex more often, as well as feel more effort from her into initating things. Ideally she would show more interest in exploring, learning, and desire, but seems okay/happy with how things are.