So I’ve been looking for a casual relationship with one single person. I don’t have time for a committed relationship and wanting casual sex but with someone I can trust who wants the same thing.

I (female) met someone (male) online who’s 15 years older, a dad and business man. He doesn’t have much time so agreed it was a good arrangement.

We went on our first date and hit it off, I’m super attracted to him. I’m also young a beautiful and in great shape and he’s older but also handsome and in great shape. I could only imagine the sex being great.

Naturally we started discussing boundaries in bed. We agreed on using protection as I’m off BC. He then asked me if I’d been tested. I have very recently. I asked him and he said it’s been over a year and he wasn’t going to do it until next year because of his doctor being on leave. He’s also been having a casual relationship with someone for the past couple years.

In that case I said I was not going to do oral (BJ) on him unprotected for the first couple times we had sex. He told me in that case we won’t meet up because it’s non negotiable for him to receive unprotected oral sex even the first time. We’re disagreeing on this and I’m disappointed because I really liked him (personality and physically). We had a lot of chemistry and I’m bummed.

Am I being the asshole by setting boundaries and asking for either testing or protection for oral sex? Is it being overly cautious or is it a healthy boundary?

*I have never had a casual relationship or ONS in my life so I don’t know what typical protocol is for these things. Are y’all just having unprotected oral sex as of the first time without testing?