I had one relationship lasting about 8 months and we weren’t really a match when it came to penetration. I am now 27 and despite having hookups through the years, I am longing for a meaningful connection. I travel a lot and live in a country where I’m not fluent in the native language so making connections with others here is not easy, especially being gay means so much less option.

The issue is, I feel like I have ruined sex for myself a bit and it will make it hard to establish this intimate connection. I have a very desensitized penis making it hard to finish from penetration and while I’m not necessarily in terrible shape, my strengths don’t lend themself well to sex for some reason, I also feel like I am a bit too used to porn now and find many aspects of sex less exciting than they should be.

i know i have the ability to try to fix some of those things, but without someone to actually do it for, it seems pointless. I always thought it would get better when I find someone, we can learn each other and grow to make sex something consistent, pleasurable, and intimate. But as the days, weeks, years tick by it’s hard to keep up hope.

I mostly just wanted to vent a bit, so thanks for reading. Some advice or shared experiences could help cheer me up a bit.