I’m bisexual male, who is only exploring his “passive” side with gf. Once we had a lo-o-ong foreplay, about an hour or two and then did pegging.

I used to bottom a lot before, but in same-sex, but now It was pretty new experience, especially psychologically. It felt like I surrender to this, like completely losing control and even myself in these sensations.

When orgasm was about to happen, I literally started shaking and suddenly I got so scared to idk, go insane, completely lose control and myself. At the end I managed to cum, helping myself, though I wanted to reach it without doing that, but... Orgasm was insane. I screamed quite loud, I just couldn’t hold this feeling, though I wanted to scream even louder. After that I had a weird feeling like my eyes opened. Everything was so clear, even when my eyes were closed it felt like open. It was kinda spiritual open.

I want to repeat this, but I wonder, why I were afraid to have orgasm and couldn’t reach that without helping myself? It feels like there is something even more that I had, but I feel like this fear is stopping me a bit.