I am M31 and she is F27 and we’re together for a year. Our start wasn’t the most exciting or vibrant one as I did a shift in my pattern. My pattern was unavailable women. By the time, we started to get along well, we started to see how matching we are and I’ve started to open up my soul, which I don’t do on every occasion. Everyday we were just happy about each other presence, there were no fights. I’ve never had such a relationship and I knew from day 1 that that’s how a relationship should work. Time passed, she started to be angry that due to my very tightened weekend schedule(going to different kind of parties)she couldn’t progress as she desires with her phd. Everytime I told her she doesn’t need to go necessarily and that I will cover her, support her but she refused. Fights become more often. I don’t remember last time when we didn’t fought for more than a week, so usually is once a week. And we sit together. With time, some sexual desires I had in the past, appeared in my mind, most of the time when we’re doing sex. She likes vanilla. I’m her 1st. My sexual desires are degrading, but not exagerated. Some dirty talk and other things. I’ve told her about them and she was like some of them I could do, some not, but in the same time she was not excited about those at all. Thing is lately I’ve started to be put on under pressure on different levels: work, relationship, renovation of my flat and I feel my mind is a scattered. These degrading desires add another presure because if I see a woman I find attractive, I am also seeing doing those degrading stuff with her. What to do? I don’t want to exchange something on short period for such a loving and understanding partner. I don’t want to be led by fantasies only to find out I don’t have actually those desires and I’ve fantasized about them as they were forbidden.

TL;DR I am having some sexual kink my partner doesn’t agree to it, we also fight a lot, once a week seems a lot to me for the 1st year, but she loves me a lot. Due to my sexual kink, I feel my mind scattered. What to do, how to proceed to not lost her love?