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I've always had some feelings towards women all my life that idk what this could mean. Could it be romantic attraction or signs of a crush ?
I had a teacher that I thought was so pretty and so interesting and everytime she talked to me I immediately blushed, I couldn't look at her, when I was seated next to her I felt so nervous, I wanted her to notice me.
There was a friend of mine back in school,that I thought was really beautiful too, I felt nervous around her and I couldn't talk to her like I talked to my other friends, I remember when I arrived at school and it was just her and me I felt really nervous, then one day, I was playing video games on my phone and my hair fell on my face, then she put her hand on my face to put my hair behind my ear, I immediately blushed and it was like the world stopped for a second.
In highschool there was this girl that I couldn't stop looking at her,I wanted to impress her, I wanted her to look and me and notice me, in a room full of people I could still feel her presence, I had dreams about her.
But I've never thought about doing something romantic with them, actually the possibility of it didn't even crossed my mind.
I was in a restaurant and a woman so beautiful (imo) sat next to me and I felt really nervous, I started to fix my hair and my posture, I remember looking at her and she was looking me back and I looked away from being nervous, until this day I remember her hair, her clothes, her voice, what she said, I was pretty depressive at the time and I remember going back home so happy and energized, I wanted to go out again, to have a relationship
I go out and I see some women I feel this way about, and then spend some days daydreaming of scenarios where she was noticing me, laughing at my jokes and thinking I was pretty.
It's not with all women, it's not with all pretty women or popular women, because there's a lot of pretty and popular women that I didn't felt this way around.
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