Me and my wife have been together since we were 18 we are now in our late 30’s. For the past year she only wants sex when she wants it. Seems like I now have to beg for it or pay for it. Examples buy her something, give her what she wants or just flat out ask for it. She always seems like it’s a big deal, stating that I want it all the time. She will hold it over me stating that I’m just giving you too much. Which is at best maybe 5 times a month now.

I have noticed that she is always on her phone social media and ticktok. I have noticed that when she is on her phone she will sit where I cannot see anything and now keeps her phone on silent. I have noticed that she has notifications turned off on certain apps.

We were to have sex several times last week and she stayed up late and would call her sister or stay up on social media. I have noticed that she is starting to hide her friends list on social media. When we do have sex it has to be about her. What she wants and the way she wants it. When we are done she will roll over and go to sleep. We hardly kiss anymore and she hardly touches me sexually. She does have toys but I cannot have one and I know she is using them. As she never cleans them afterwards and will lie about using them.

When I want sex she will not shower or say it’s too late. Most times now she will say wake me up in the morning and will get mad when I wake her up. I’m starting to feel like she is talking with someone else. She has started to change how she acts and what she does. If we do have sex it has to be how she wants it and her way.

I’m to the point where I am starting to beat myself mentally about it. We talk about it but nothing never happens. Our whole sex life has changed.

Any advice how to approach this differently would help.