The text:

Why does is seem so many men are “doms” and looking to dominate, use, and abuse (with consent)?

I’m in my mid 30s and coming bank to the dating scene after the end of a long term relationship.

I’d hoped to have some fun and casual sex partners, but I’m finding a lot of men (im hetero interested in men) are labeling themselves as doms.

Maybe I haven’t been dating for a while, but is this the new norm? Doms, hyper aware of consent, with desires to instruct and impact play and abuse and just all sorts of stuff.

Not that I might not be willing to grow with a partner, but it’s seems like a heavy expectation to commit to at hello

Do I need to adjust and this is just what available now? I just want normal regular sex and relationships. Not necessarily vanilla, but I don’t explicitly want this dom stuff.. admittedly I tried once and was basically just pushed and pulled around. I’d guess everyone “doms” differently, but there must be a through line for so many people to identity the label.

Oh… and let’s not forget free use… they all (not all, just most of my interactions) want free use.

Is this the new normal. Is this the new sex revolution and I missed the boat?

Doms, subs, and switches? Pick a side 😩