Hi all,

I’m a 21-year-old female in a healthy, loving, and safe relationship with my boyfriend. We’ve been together for a year, and while I feel so comfortable with him, I’ve been struggling to orgasm consistently.

I tend to get in my head during sex, focusing more on making it “hot” for him (like moaning, moving my body in a certain way, etc.) rather than on my own pleasure. We usually spend around 20 minutes on foreplay (gentle touches, tickling, massages), and while the build-up feels amazing, I start to lose focus and struggle when he touches me downstairs. It just doesn’t feel as pleasurable as I think it should, and after about 20 minutes, we often give up.

He’s incredibly patient and determined to help me orgasm, but I know it’s more of a mental block for me. I’ve only orgasmed maybe 10 times in the past year, and those were external after a lot of effort. I worry that he’ll eventually get frustrated, even though he’s been super supportive and understanding so far. In his past, he’s been with women who orgasmed internally within minutes, and he didn’t really do foreplay before me, so I know he’s learning too.

A bit of background: I’ve been familiar with my body for years, engaging in self-pleasure since I was young. But receiving pleasure from a partner is different, and I’m finding it hard to get out of my head and into my body during sex. I love giving pleasure, and it turns me on, but receiving and reaching orgasm is the challenge.

Do any of you have advice on how to stop overthinking and enjoy the moment? Any tips on getting more comfortable with receiving, boosting confidence in bed, or enhancing internal G-spot stimulation? I’d really appreciate any insights!

Thanks in advance for your help! <3