My gf and I are in our mid twenties and have been together for almost 3 years. She has a lot of trauma around sex because of abusive past partners. She has also gained a good amount of weight and I think is insecure in her body / fitness

She's never really initiated sex more than a handful of times, mostly when drunk

She also has never kissed me, and rarely attempts to hug or other physical affection (until recently)

For a long time she actively rejected me or pushed me away, so I stopped initiating for the most part. I asked her to please seek therapy, but she was never ready until a few months ago.

Now she has started going, and she has started being more affectionate and sexual. She will sometimes initiate via making suggestive jokes or movements

But still she doesn't really reach out & touch me sexually. She doesn't like dirty talk. She doesn't do things like kiss, take off clothes, etc. Foreplay is awkward because the kissing is very one sided and she has to take breaks to breathe after every 3 kisses or so (chronic stuffy nose). She definitely doesn't french kiss or involve tongue

She doesn't really touch my body either, it's all me touching her. If I stop making moves or giving directions she stops / freezes entirely. She also doesn't get wet, even with a ton of foreplay, unless she's been drinking.

For a while we just had sex by me putting some lube on and just going for it in a one sided fashion. I know that wasn't fair at all, but it was what she was offering and I had tried many methods to get her wet or turned on

I try to always make sure she orgasms via her vibrator. I've tried fingers and oral in the past but have never been able to make her cum even with hour long sessions. She doesn't know how to make herself cum with fingers either, so if the vibrator dies we're out of luck

I know she has trauma / PTSD and I've tried to be really understanding. I just don't know if there's any hope for us sexually or not and would like some advice

TL;DR

My gf of 3 yrs doesn't really touch me or respond sexually, doesn't like dirty talk, oral, nipple sucking or kissing, and can't cum with any methods besides a vibrator (so far)

She has PTSD and is working on it in therapy. She's trying to be more sexual and has been more affectionate otherwise. Is there hope for us?