TLDR: Subtle signs and using past experience/logic told me I was heading in the right direction but she didn't think so.

I hooked up with someone (for the first time) few days ago. I'm 24, she's 30. We met on reddit (yeah I know, save your words ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯). We used protection and she had recent test results.

On her post, she said she wanted someone to eat the food she cooks and take her to pound town. While chatting I said:

"Nothing better than tasting the food, and then pounding the chef", she reacted with a love emoji.

My understanding of "pounding" means hard sex. That has somehow always been implied in my past hookups and they all said they were fine with it. Maybe it's an age gap thing and because my past hookups have all been around my age? I also assumed she would say something if something was wrong because she's older.

Now I know that's on me for not properly checking in, and just assuming based on previous experiences, but I just thought I should mention that first. I also know it's on me for assuming someone I'm hooking up with for the first time would want it hard. Just wanna let y'all know that I'm not innocent in this.

Another thing I should mention is that she's really talky and confident, which are both things I like because people like that I've hooked up with immediately told me when something was wrong or didn't feel right. And again, she's older.

We didn't have sex immediately and just watched documentaries for like 2 hours first before she started cooking. At some point, I tried grabbing her ass and she told me to ask first, which further told me that if I do something that she's not comfortable with, she'll speak up. In hindsight, I should have taken that as "Ask before doing anything" but I've been told multiple times by other people that asking when the signs are already there ruins the mood.

When we were fucking, her body language/moaning/dirty i.e. the signs talking indicated to me that I was doing something right. We started in missionary, and she asked me to switch to doggy, which indicated even more to me that I was doing it right because if something was wrong, she would have said something rather than telling me to switch positions. And, from my POV, missionary limits how rough sex can be while doggy is always rougher.

Not to mention she was very wet and even squirted. I didn't notice till after and she told me I made her squirt and that was when I saw the mark on the bed. She didn't yet say anything and I unknowingly said something along the lines of "we can go again in about 20 minutes.", then she dropped the bomb and said I went too rough and hard.

She went to pee and found out she was bleeding and then ... told me (word for word): "could you kindly get the fuck out"

Maybe it played out different from her point of view but i'll never know. We still chatted for a bit after I got home but I just apologized and didn't bother to ask why she didn't say something because it might be insensitive/might come off as victim blaming.

I've been thinking about this since it happened and even thinking she had an ulterior motive but given what I know about her (we chatted for a while few months before and stopped talking), there's no reason for there to be an ulterior motive.

Am I trying to justify my shitty behaviour or ?

Please keep replies to what I'm asking about.