I (25M) have been dating my GF (26F) for roughly 4 years now. I plan to marry this woman b/c shes the love of my life. Sex had been great in the first year, especially during the honeymoon phase. But for the last 2 years, I found myself always initiating sex. Everything about this woman is what I've always been looking for. There's just one problem. Her and I are NOT compatible when it comes to sex drives.

Whenever I initiate, she would 95% of the time turn it down (brush it off). I would get upset whenever she brushes it off but when she notices that I'm upset she changes her mind. I appreciate her for doing that but I only feel the desire to do it if SHE's also in the mood (or at least reacts). But I noticed that she only does it when I get upset so that I don't end up breaking up with her or cheating on her even though I ensured that I would never do that.

We've discussed this issue so many times. She says that she really wants to try and fix her libido but she never had. To be fair, she was sexually assaulted by her ex like 9 years ago. I never ever pressured her into sex and I've always been patient with her and held back my sex drive many many times. She told me that she wants to improve her libido and I've tried helping her too but she NEVER actually tried. I get that she had a bad past but everytime we discuss her sex drive issue, she always brings up the fact that she was assaulted. I get it and I feel for her, but does that have to be brought up EVERYTIME? Can she at least try to move on for my sake instead of sticking to the past.

Now i know that some of you might say that "if this is a deal breaker, then leave". But I've literally sacrificed and done SO much for her and shes even gotten super close with my family. I don't want to leave her because I do love her as a person. But I am scared of how this will eventually turn out if we were to get married and have kids. It got so bad to the point where I almost did cheat on her but I didn't. I honestly don't know what to do.

Also I don't think there are any issues with the sex because I do a lot of foreplay and oral and I make sure to give her an orgasm before I finish (although its pretty hard for her). She doesn't have an issue with my size either (I am above average) and I can control however long she wants me to go for. We switch up positions a lot as well and she told me I was the best she's ever had compared to her previous exes.