Hi everyone,

I've been dating my boyfriend for about six months now, and we've been exploring BDSM together. While I really enjoy our time together, there's something that's been bothering me, and I could use some advice.

After our BDSM sessions (and even regular sex), I really crave some aftercare. I just want to cuddle and be close to him, but as soon as we're done, he immediately goes to clean himself up and then heads to the couch to watch TV or play computer games, leaving me alone in bed, feeling kind of... abandoned. After a session of hard spanking, flogging, caning, and deep throating, I feel like cuddling or just holding each others hands for a while is very important. Being left alone after a hard session like that usually leaves me shaking cold and with a feeling of emptiness.

I've tried talking to him about how important aftercare is for me and how it would mean a lot if we could cuddle afterward, especially after a BDSM session. He agrees with me when we talk, but nothing has changed. He still gets up right after we're done, and I’m left feeling alone and a bit hurt.

What should I do? How can I make him understand how important this is to me and get him to actually follow through?

Thanks in advance for any advice!