I (f23) have been with my girlfriend (f24) for about a year. As the title suggests, I don't like having sex with her. When we do have sex, it's very slow and awkward and vanilla. Because of how slowly we go, we usually spend a very long time (over a couple hours every time) doing it, which just leaves me extremely tired when I have to wake up for work the next morning. Neither of us usually finish either, so there's no "happy ending", we sort of just fool around until one of us (me) is too tired to continue. This is something she's oddly proud of, and she likes to go around telling people that nobody she's been with has ever been able to make her orgasm. It just sort of makes the sex seem pointless and draining.

The other thing is that she often asks me to initiate, and will show that she's interested, but then won't really respond physically to my advances or seem very enthusiastic. She says this is because she doesn't like to use her brain during sex, so she wants me to put in all the "work", but will never take initiative or even answer questions about what she wants. To be completely blunt, it sometimes makes me feel like I'm making out with a brick wall.

She says that she's a very dominant and kinky person. I've asked her to show me that side of her, and she said she already does. We've talked a lot about sex and I've told her that I'd like to see some more active participation on her end but nothing really changes. She still expects me to initiate things, and if I don't initiate due to being too tired or whatever else she'll get upset that we're not having as much sex as she'd like to have.

At the beginning of our relationship, I thought we would grow out of the awkward/slow/vanilla stage as we got more comfortable with eachother, especially since she loved to talk about how confident, dominant, sexually active and kinky she usually is, but if anything's it's just gotten worse.

Advice?