So, I (19m) just wanted to ask this because this kind of dynamic has been alluring to me for a long time, but I have always had some reservations with it and wanted to see if what I thought it's like was actually accurate to how it is.

I was abused when I was younger by an older woman, and some of my friends say my mom is very narcissistic, so I've got the "mommy issues" thing.

My question is in a Femdom dynamic, how do I accept that I am not worth as much or not equal to my partner/domme? I just already struggle with self-esteem issues, so whenever I think about this style of power dynamic it's exciting, but often leaves me feeling really worried or even scared.

On that note, part of why I'm nervous about being in a dynamic like that is I'm scared of being abused again. A 32 yo woman had a "power dynamic" with me at 16, and I realize now she had been grooming me, and I already had been groomed before that at 14 and 15. It sort of terrifies me to submit to a dominant because I'm terrified of what giving someone that amount of power and that high an amount of my control could do. It's really scary, and I'm sorry for being scared of it.

Thank you and I'm sorry if this post is wrong or not in the right place, thank you for reading this.